FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY: When I Care More About the Characters, I Care More About the F*cking

From Dusk till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999) – Directed by Scott Spiegel – Starring Robert Patrick, Bo Hopkins, Duane Whitaker, Muse Watson, Brett Harrelson, Danny Trejo, Raymond Cruz, Tiffani Amber Thiessen, and Bruce Campbell.

If you toss FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2 into your video player of choice because you’re a big Bruce Campbell and/or Tiffani Amber Thiessen fan, the good news is you only have to watch the first 5 minutes of DUSK 2 because they’re here just for the opening scene. They play lawyers but they’re really playing their stock characters – Campbell is doing his amicably smug bit and Thiessen is doing her super gorgeous bit – and they get eaten by vampires in an elevator.

Then the movie starts and I really wish it hadn’t.

DUSK 2 is just a straightforward B-movie that has a bunch of criminals plan to rob a bank in Mexico but their plans go awry when they start getting turned into vampires until only Robert Patrick is left. If you’re really in the mood for a Robert Patrick film, or your really in the mood to watch bank robbers turn into vampires, then DUSK 2 will likely not be the worst 90 minutes of your life. Unfortunately, it’s not a very memorable movie. Damningly, it’s not an enjoyable movie, either.

There’s three acts to DUSK 2:

In Act One, Luther (Duane Whitaker) gets out of jail, tells Buck he’s got a gig lined up, and then Buck gets a crew together. We have to watch all of it so we can learn that C.W. (Muse Watson) is a rodeo clown-slash-safe cracker, Jesus (Raymond Cruz) is a bad-ass, and Ray Bob (Brett Harrelson) is a dumb-ass. It’s a fine enough set-up but none of it actually means anything because while, yes, C.W. cracks a safe and Jesus is a bad-ass and Ray Bob is a dumb-ass, none of it really means anything. These aren’t characters, they’re types.

It becomes pretty clear pretty quick that what DUSK 2 will not have in common with the original FROM DUSK TILL DAWN is any kind of real character development, and that’s a huge loss. Ironically (or not), the film even reveals its biggest flaw to the audience during Act 2. The guys are sitting around in their motel room, waiting for Luther and watching porn. This is the only time all movie when the characters actually have a conversation with one another. Jesus complains the porn has no story. Buck says, “Who cares? It’s a f*ck movie. I watch a f*ck movie for the f*cking.” C.W. agrees with Jesus: “When I care more about the characters, I care more about the f*cking.”

It’s the only part of the movie that’s done in the spirit of the original but it’s not nearly enough to save this clunker.

In Act 2 is when the bad guys start getting turned into vampires (thanks to Danny Trejo) and in Act 3 they rob the bank, until eventually Buck is the only non-turned robber. He teams up with the cops, defeats the vamps, and then takes off with the cash.

It’s all really pedestrian and really bland. Robert Patrick is a decent enough actor but he doesn’t have the charisma to carry a mediocre movie. That said, DUSK 2 isn’t the worst way to spend 90 minutes, and if you’ve got a stack of magazines to read and want something on in the background, DUSK 2 will fit the bill. If you’re actually looking for a compelling, engaging film to, erm, sink your teeth into, you can do better.

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