Angry Villagers at the Gates of the Blogosphere?

Maybe everyone is coming here because they're trying to find a Star Trek V Marshmallow Dispenser?

I have been writing this blog since May 16, 2010. On that first day, I published an older post I’d written about the end of the New England Patriots Dynasty, a missive on LeBron James’ playoff failings, and quick-hitter about a grey whale being spotted in the Mediterranean, which is, believe it or not, a very big deal. The first actual review post I wrote was on Terry Gilliam’s flawed Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, which was followed the next day by a review of the final episode of Lost.

Very few people were reading that first week, of course, but in the 5 1/2 months since, I can see that I get a decent amount of traffic to the site considering I only ever “advertise” it by updating my Facebook page. Not even an Atomic Anxiety page, because there isn’t one. I’m just talking my regular old personal Facebook page, with my 300 or so personal friends and another 800 or so Mafia Wars friends.

Sometimes my posts get picked up by Joe over at the always awesome RevolutionSF site, and sometimes the Better in the Dark folks post a link from their Facebook page. Most of the traffic that comes to the Anxiety, however, comes from out of the wilds of the internet as wandering travelers somehow stumble here.

One of the best parts of having this blog is seeing the search terms people use to get here. I’ll have to do a post just on this at some point, but I love it when I check the search terms to see what’s bringing people here and I see things like, “elmer fudd costume” and wonder what the heck I wrote that got my site a hit on that search.

I’m always fascinated by which posts bring the most traffic in. Sometimes I’ll write what I think is a very nice post on a very nice topic and it draws no interest. Like my take on the JJ Abrams’ Star Trek film, which, to this point, is in the bottom 10% of page hits. (This is a little skewered since I post full posts right on the main page instead of making people click through to read the full article but since it’s the same for every post, it’s a good enough tally.)

Looking at the list of all-time hits last night, I noticed a curious thing – most of the top 10 all-time hits are either negative reviews or reviews of programs/movies that have a generally bland reputation. The list of top 10 page hitters is also, as you would imagine, geared a bit more towards older posts, as they’ve had the chance to accumulate more hits over the last half year.

That said, here are the top 10 all-time page hitters. I’ve removed the Main Page from the list, since it’s far and away the leader, and I’ve taken out the news item bits (the TARDIS materializing at MIT and the THOR movie trailer) because they’re basically just temporary blips where my guess is people are looking for pictures more than reading something. (They would be third and tenth, if you’re interested).

I’ll list the top ten read posts by subject instead of full title. Here they are:

1. Star Trek V
2. Doctor Who: Revelation of the Daleks
3. Joe Paterno and the Big East Conference
4. Doctor Who: Time and the Rani
5. Doctor Who: The Empty Child
6. Hawaii Five-0
7. Doctor Who: Timelash
8. Doctor Who: Silver Nemesis
9. Star Trek VII
10. Doctor Who: The Two Doctors

Star Trek V is the worst of all Star Trek movies and yet there it is, the #1 read post. (Even though I posted the article in August, it’s the 13th most read post here in the past week.) Star Trek VII is likewise a rather terrible movie.

“Revelation of the Daleks,” “Timelash,” and “Two Doctors” are all Sixth Doctor serials (the first Doctor I started reviewing), and while “Revelation” is probably Colin Baker’s best, “Timelash” is also in consideration for being one of his worst. (“Twin Dilemma” would be the other choice – it’s 19th, tied with an all-time underrated serial, “The Curse of Fenric.”) “Two Doctors” is a team-up with Patrick Troughton, but it’s not exactly one of the all-time best serials, is it?

“Time and the Rani” is Sylvester McCoy’s first serial, but neither really loved nor hated, nor particularly amazing or awful. “Silver Nemesis” is an uneven serial, but the last appearance of the original Cyberman. Maybe folks are just coming to look at the picture of Kylie Minogue (who’s latest album, Aphrodite, is pretty darn great.)

The most surprising inclusion, to me, is Hawaii Five-0, which I almost didn’t write and then almost didn’t post (it’s sort of a blah article, to be honest) and the page hits just erupted that day. It’s not like I routinely post about cop shows, but clearly that topic was on the mind of the blog reading public that particular day.

It’s a weird mix of posts, but it does surprise me that there are more people interested in reading about either terrible serials, or relatively bland ones. Of that whole list, only the Ninth Doctor serial, “The Empty Child” has a glowing reputation.

As long as people are getting a kick out of what the read (whether they agree or not), I’m happy. I do wonder if the person who was looking for that Elmer Fudd costume liked what they saw here.

I imagine someone sitting at home furiously tossing their Code Red bottle against the wall and screaming, “Stupid internet! Who gives a f*ck about Doctor Who!?!?! Where can a dude find some nice sewing patterns to make himself an Elmer Fudd jacket!?!?!?”

Probably the same place your girlfriend got the patterns for “Skanky Bugs Bunny,” dude.

Probably the same place.