ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER: History Prefers Legends to Men

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) – Directed by Timur Bekmambetov – Starring Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, Marton Csokas, and Alan Tudyk. There is one major problem with ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER: it takes its story seriously. The good news is that it takes its story so utterly and…

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN: You Spoke Once of Wanting to Meet Your Demon

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) – Directed by Stephen Norrington – Starring Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Tony Curran, Stuart Townsend, Shane West, Jason Flemyng, and Richard Roxburgh. What’s most disappointing about THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN isn’t that it’s awful, but that Stephen Norrington comes really close to making an honest-to-goodness good…

DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT: I Was Having a Daymare

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995) – Directed by Mel Brooks – Starring Leslie Nielsen, Peter MacNicol, Steven Weber, Amy Yasbeck, Lysette Anthony, Avery Schreiber, Harvey Korman, and Mel Brooks. Compared to Mel Brooks’ riff on the Frankenstein myth in Young Frankenstein, DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT completely sucks. Compared to Mel Brooks’ hilarious send-up…

VAN HELSING: I Am Hollow

Van Helsing (2004) – Directed by Stephen Sommers – Starring Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Will Kemp, Kevin J. O’Connor, and Shuler Hensley. Seven years on and VAN HELSING still reeks of bad stew. There’s no reason why this film shouldn’t have been a blast given the inclusion of Sommers (hot, at…