MAGNUM FORCE: A Good Man Always Knows His Limitations

Magnum ForceMagnum Force (1973) – Directed by Ted Post – Starring Clint Eastwood, Hal Holbrook, Mitchell Ryan, David Soul, Felton Perry, Robert Urich, Tim Matheson, Kip Niven, and John Mitchum.

MAGNUM FORCE is one of my favorite sequels of all time, and serves as a perfect example of how to make sequels more about story and less about repetition.

Too many sequels, of course, simply attempt to regurgitate the previous film, and the primary way they try to make your experience better is to simply give your more of whatever it is they think you liked the first time.

I was worried that MAGNUM FORCE would simply give us more guns, more one-liners, more people getting shot by Clint Eastwood. To a certain extent, the film does that, but what’s so impressive about MAGNUM is that the story here is built off the story in DIRTY HARRY and forces Inspector Harry Callahan (Eastwood) to confront fellow cops who think they can make a difference by stepping outside of the system.

It’s a bold move and one I doubt many films today would make as MAGNUM runs the risk of alienating those who saw Callahan’s anti-system individualism in a heroic light. MAGNUM takes Callahan from the individual who rejects the system to one who defends it.

At the end of DIRTY HARRY, tosses his badge into the water, symbolizing his rejection of the system he has been sworn to uphold, on the grounds that a systemic failure has put the rights of the criminal over the rights of the victim. As MAGNUM FORCE opens, we see that his rejection of the badge was only temporary. He’s still a cop, though he’s been assigned to Stakeout duty by Lieutenant Briggs (Hal Holbrook), which is designed to keep him off the streets and away from criminals he might shoot. Eventually, as the body count in the city begins to rise, Briggs has to call Callahan in to help with the investigation, and that’s when Callahan ends up defending the system he so dislikes.

Deep in the film, after Briggs has been revealed as the leader of a group of rogue, rookie cops and he has Callahan at gunpoint, he tells Callahan: “You’re a good cop, Harry. You had a chance to join my team, but you decided to stick with the system.”

Callahan grunts back: “Briggs, I hate the goddamn system! But until someone comes along with changes that make sense, I’ll stick with it.”

The key difference for Callahan between his actions in DIRTY HARRY (when he killed a criminal) and the actions of the rogue cops in MAGNUM FORCE is that Harry waited for the system to break down and fail the victims before he killed Scorpio, while in this film the cops are killing people prior to any significant breakdown. Scorpio committed crimes, got arrested, and was subsequently released, while the criminals here may have been in and out of the system in the past, but there is no clear systemic collapse here to justify the actions of the cops.

There’s also a sense of subterfuge here that casts the rogue cops in a negative light. Scorpio knew Callahan was coming for him, and Callahan didn’t hide his final attack. In MAGNUM, however, the cops use subterfuge afforded them as cops to get close to their targets to kill them at close range. The cops pull their victims over as if it’s a routine traffic stop and then pump them full of bullets. Importantly, MAGNUM doesn’t have the cops shoot innocent victims to turn us against them, but rather is willing to have a little moral complexity in the film and forces Callahan to confront his actions with Scorpio.

Still, the film has Harry remind us that he hates the system, too, even though he’s its biggest defender this time around.

The rogue cops are a group of combat vets who have gone through the police academy together. Callahan’s partner Early Smith (Felton Perry) tells him that this set of rookies “came through the Academy after me. They stick together like flypaper, you know? Everybody thought they were queer for each other,” to which Callahan replies, “If the rest of you could shoot like them, I wouldn’t care if the whole damn department was queer.”

There’s a nice cool-in-hindsight aspect to the rookie cops as they’re played by actors who went on to have solid careers: David Soul, Tim Mattheson, Robert Urich, and John C. McGinley. Actually, the fourth cop is played by Kip Niven, who has gone on to have a pretty solid career, too, but it’s not a big part and every time he was on screen I kept trying to figure out if it was McGinley or not, until I remembered I could just look it up on my phone. Other than Soul, the cops don’t have a whole lot of face time (even during the big action sequence at the end it’s hard to differentiate them because they’re wearing their helmeted outfits befitting bike cops), but it’s an effective unit.

MAGNUM FORCE also humanizes Callahan; he’s not just a driven cop here. We see him at the house of a fellow cop’s wife to check in on her, we see a picture of his deceased wife, we see him hook up with his downstairs neighbor, and we get a greater sense of humor. One of the best exchanges of the film comes between Callahan and another neighbor. Harry has detected a bomb in his mailbox and he’s unscrewing the face plate to get at it when another tenant gets all over him for doing it.

“I’ll call the police,” he threatens meekly.

“I am the police,” Harry grumbles back.

MAGNUM FORCE is definitely a bigger film, giving the audience more of what it liked the first time around, but it also gives us things we didn’t see the first time, and while Harry Callahan was a stand-in for every cop in America in DIRTY HARRY, in MAGNUM he becomes his own man. It’s a bit ironic that in the film where he’s less the individualistic gunslinger he also becomes a more well-rounded individual, but MAGNUM FORCE continually challenges Harry’s character and the result is a superior film.

THE ICE PIRATES: I Have No Intention of Facing This Sober

The Ice Pirates (1984) – Directed by Stewart Raffill – Starring Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, Ron Perlman, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Bruce Villanch, and John Carradine.

There are two reasons to watch THE ICE PIRATES. First – just go back and look at that cast. I challenge you to find a more interesting cast in any mid-’80s sci-fi B-movie. You’ve got the always solid, never spectacular Robert Urich, the post-Dallas Mary Crosby, the future Hellboy, a woman who would win the Academy Award the following year, a football player, and a Carradine. Honestly, this movie has the daughter of Bing Crosby, the daughter of John Huston, and the father of David Carradine. The least recognizable name in the batch is Michael Roberts, who was in both Manhunter and Rain Man and had ongoing roles on TV in both Baretta and Manimal.

Manimal, people.

Manimal.

If you watch ICE PIRATES you get to see Anjelica Huston, who really did win the Academy Award the following year for Prizzi’s Honor jump into the arms and play kissy face with one of the NFL’s all-time bad boys and two-time Super Bowl winner, who appeared the following year as Sloth in Goonies. I can’t figure out who had the better 1985 – Huston or Matuszak.

The second reason to watch ICE PIRATES is the final 15 minutes or so, which, it turns out, is one of two parts of the movie that I actually remember from childhood (the other being the mechanical jaw device that chews off your dick and balls; what can I say, that sticks with a kid). In the final act, we see the Ice Pirates battling the bad guys in a time warp of sorts, that sees everyone jump ahead in age every few seconds. By the end of the battle, everyone is running around looking old and wrinkly. It’s actually a really neat action sequence, and if the rest of the film had this much inventiveness and irreverence, well, it’d be a much better film.

Because sadly, ICE PIRATES is just not very good. It’s one of those lower-budget sci-fi movies made in a post-Star Wars world, where the protagonist is a third-rate Han Solo and almost everyone plays almost every scene with a knowing wink to help you get over how the movie can actually be this bad.

Which isn’t to say ICE PIRATES isn’t worth a watch. It does star Robert Urich, whose career seems to be unfairly defined by his being “Not Someone Else,” which probably stems from not having a long-running hit. Vega$ and Spenser: For Hire were as close as he came, and while there’s nothing wrong with a show that lasts three seasons, it’s not exactly Magnum, P.I. or Murder, She Wrote. In almost every role he plays, you can almost see who the producers would have rather hired, and because Urich is so effortlessly good, he can slip into any role. If you look at his career, though, you can see that most of his shows were probably made to cash in on the success of other shows. He’s at his best in Spenser: For Hire, a character that he totally made his own.

It’s a shame it never really caught on.

Here in ICE PIRATES, Urich is giving a modified Burt Reynolds performance. His character, Jason, might be molded on Han Solo, but Urich’s performance is more Bandit or Stroker. (Oddly, or fittingly, Urich also played football at Florida State.) He does it well, but where Reynolds is able to add some charm to his smarminess, Urich really can’t do that because he seems like such a nice guy, so when he takes a peek down Karina’s shirt while she sleeps, it just feels wrong.

There’s not much chemistry between Urich and Crosby, but it’s not the actors’ fault. It’s the script’s fault, which puts Jason and Karina in silly situations that hinder, rather than assist, any hope of a believable romance. The key with Han and Leia is that you could feel their dislike as well as their attraction, but Jason and Karina bicker like this is a sitcom.

ICE PIRATES also has a derivative feel to it, but what hurts the movie the most is that it never feels like an actual story; it just feels like a bunch of bits strung together. They do a bit with a “space herpe,” and I swear they only do it because “space herpe” made them laugh because it doesn’t add anything to the movie.