THE LITTLE MERMAID: Of Singing Fish, Rebellious Youths, and Dinglehoppers

The Little Mermaid (1989) – The 28th Walt Disney Animated Feature – Directed by Ron Clements and John Musker – Starring Rene Auberjonois, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Jodi Benson, Pat Carroll, Buddy Hackett, Jason Marin, Kenneth Mars, and Samuel E. Wright.

There is, of course, the automatic negatives that come with any Disney Princess film, and there are those who will automatically dismiss any of the Princess films out of hand. I don’t agree with that, but I understand it. The Disney Princesses can often be problematic but dismissing them out of hand is as stupid as embracing them without interrogation, and of all the Disney Princesses, it is THE LITTLE MERMAID’s Ariel that offers the most confounding characterization.

On the negative half of the equation, THE LITTLE MERMAID offers up the problematic figure of a love-stupid 16-year old girl willing to sacrifice everything for the affection of a guy she met once. All she really knows about Prince Eric is that he’s a handsome human, and this is enough for her.

On the positive side of the ledger, Ariel is an active character who owns her actions. She might be 16 and lovestruck, but Ariel (Jodi Benson) forges her own path in THE LITTLE MERMAID. She’s headstrong, forceful, and rebellious, but she’s not a bad person and she’s not sitting around waiting for her fairy tale prince to find her. She has an infectious personality and an adventuresome nature, and when it comes time to make her bargain with Ursula the Sea Witch (Pat Carroll), she puts her own life on the line. Of course, she is a 16-year old kid and doesn’t realize that while she’s playing a short game, Ursula is playing a long game, using Ariel to get to her father, King Triton (Kenneth Mars).

While it is ultimately unfortunate that Ariel doesn’t see that there’s more to life than getting Eric to fall in love with her, and while it is unfortunate that Disney simply affirms rather than complicates the typical fairy tale fantasy, I come down much more on the positive than negative side when it comes to Ariel. It’s important that kids dream of being something other than what their parents or society want for them, and whatever her faults, whatever the dangers of Disney tossing up another princess fantasy, Ariel is a well-rounded, likable character.

And so is THE LITTLE MERMAID. I really kind of adore this movie – it’s full of really great characters and fantastic songs. Watching it just makes me feel good, both for the film itself and what it represents, and that is decidedly part of its charm. MERMAID marks the beginning of the so-called “Disney Renaissance,” a period that lasts 10 films and 11 years and saw the company produce films that were both commercially and critically appreciated. Watching MERMAID now, it’s surprising how dated it looks – this is a classically created, hand-painted cel animation and it’s the last Disney film produced in this manner. It looks old and it looks amazing.

With Ariel at its center, MERMAID gives us two wonderful supporting characters in Sebastian the Crab (Samuel E. Wright) and Flounder (Jason Marin) the, er, tropical fish. (He’s not a flounder.) The latter is Ariel’s sidekick while the former is her father-appointed watchdog. Flounder is always willing to do what Ariel wants, while Sebastian warms to her over the course of the film. There is something dangerous about Ariel’s charm inside the film, as everyone (minus Ursula) eventually gives her what she wants. Triton gets mad at her, but eventually gives permission to marry Eric. Who’s a human. And Triton hates humans. Even Sebastian, who holds vehemently militant views on keeping Ariel in lockdown, succumbs to her charm when he’s given personal responsibility to watch her.

THE LITTLE MERMAID deals with the difficulties of being a single parent. Triton raises Ariel as a single parent (and king of the oceans). He’s got a bunch of daughters who all fall in line with his expectations, but Ariel is the baby of the litter and the most willing and likely to seek her own path. Eric, too, is something of child raised by a single parent. While both of his real parents are nowhere to be found, he is in the charge of Grimsby (Ben Wright), who takes a mothering role in Eric’s development.

While the story is simple and straightforward, the musical numbers are often highly choreographed and complex. They’re also utterly fantastic. MERMAID boasts five Disney classics written by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman, and only two of them feature the same character. Ariel takes center stage in “Part of Your World,” which speaks to her desire to be part of the human’s world. “Poor Unfortunate Souls” is Ursula’s song, and its rhythm and lyrics would make it feel right at home among Danny Elfman’s songs for The Nightmare Before Christmas. “Les Poissons” is sung by Chef Louie (Rene Auberjonois) as he’s trying to make a dinner out of Sebastian.

The two showstoppers are both sung by Sebastian the Crab. The first is “Under the Sea,” his celebration of life underwater, sung to Ariel as he’s trying to convince her that “life is better, down where it’s wetter” instead of up on the surface. It’s a wonderfully designed piece by Disney’s animators, truly one of the highlights of the company’s long and celebrated history. I love how Sebastian puts on this big show for Ariel, and that she cuts out before it’s over. Sebastian’s other number is the less-heralded but equally fantastic “Kiss the Girl.” While there is something mildly creepy about Sebastian singing a song to put Eric in the mood to kiss Ariel, it must be remembered that Eric needs to do this to break Ursula’s spell and save Ariel from being turned into a creepy little emaciated polyp. Where “Under the Sea” is a massive set piece, “Kiss the Girl” has a subtler, quieter piece that speaks to the universality of music. “Under the Sea” has Sebastian backed by the denizens of the deep, who presumably have either been in his musical shows or are used to them. “Kiss the Girl,” on the other hand, has the deep-sea crab supported largely by shallow water species.

The one quibble I have with THE LITTLE MERMAID is that the film robs Ariel of some of her agency when Ursula takes her voice. She becomes a little too passive as she waits for Eric to kiss her. Luckily, Ariel does recover in time to help foil Ursula’s plan to marry Eric in her place (the witch tricked Eric by using Ariel’s voice) and she gets a full assist from Flounder, Sebastian, and Scuttle (Buddy Hackett), a seagull who’s been Ariel’s (usually incorrect) info guy about the surface.

Ariel foils Ursula’s plan to marry Eric, but the Prince’s kiss comes too late to save Ariel, which leads to a hurried finish that sees Ariel transformed into a polyp, then Triton turned into one to save her, then Ursula growing all monstrous, then Eric killing her, then all the polyps getting better, and then Ariel’s wedding. It’s a breathless final 20 minutes, and before we know it, Ariel and Eric are hitched. Her decision to go through with the wedding would have had more bite, of course, if Eric was the baker’s son instead of a prince, but that’s a tad too much realism for a Disneyfied fairy tale.

That’s a small, imperfect cherry on top of a very tasty sundae, however. THE LITTLE MERMAID isn’t one of my all-time favorite Disney films, but it’s not far from it.

BATMAN FOREVER: The Circus Must Be Halfway to Metropolis by Now

Batman Forever (1995) – Directed by Joel Schumacher – Starring Val Kilmer, Nicole Kidman, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Chris O’Donnell, Pat Hingle, Drew Barrymore, René Auberjonois, Ed Begley Jr., Debi Mazar, and Michael Gough.

BATMAN FOREVER is a louder and dumber Batman film than its two immediate predecessors, but it’s also a film designed to appeal to a wider audience; it is a live-action Saturday morning cartoon, big on overblown colors and action, yet unlike other, finer examples of the type (like the highly underrated Speed Racer), FOREVER is spiced with a bit of campy bawdiness.

As an attempt to be big, loud, and colorful, BATMAN FOREVER is a resounding success, but as an attempt to be anything more than that, it’s an artistic failure. There’s nothing smart or clever or insightful about BATMAN FOREVER, and save a few scenes between Dick Grayson (Chris O’Donell) and Alfred (Michael Gough), there’s not much here to dwell on.

Of course, BATMAN FOREVER isn’t the kind of movie that’s meant to be dwelt upon; unlike BATMAN and BATMAN RETURNS, FOREVER is simply meant to offer enough bang and flash to get your butt in the seats. Back in 1995, they got my cash and buckets more from other people, so while the film is an artistic dud, it was also a huge commercial success, grossing over $300 million worldwide. So I’ll give the film it’s due as a commercial powerhouse before getting to the part I care about – the actual movie.

There’s any number of ways to approach tearing this movie apart, but it’s the characters that ultimately doom FOREVER. Joel Schumacher is every bit as talented a director as Tim Burton, but for all of his skill with the camera and with pacing, BATMAN FOREVER is simply obnoxious thanks to the clowns that fill up the screen.

While it’s easy to point to the malodorous and buffoonish Riddler (Jim Carrey) and Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones), it’s the Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman) character that’s the most silly. Chase is a shrink brought to town at the request of Commissioner Gordon (Pat Hingle), and she’s a full-on wannabe Batman groupie. From the moment Bats drops down out of the sky, Chase lets her intentions to get herself some cape and cowl action be known. While there’s nothing wrong with a smart professional woman wanting to get a piece, Chase uses Two-Face’s assault on the bank and taking of hostages as an opportunity to present herself to Batman, flirting and fawning over him. She’s little more than a silly male fantasy – she’s brilliant, she’s gorgeous, and she’s obsessed with you. Oh, and when she eventually rejects you, she’s actually rejecting the you that wears rubber for the you that wears a suit. I think I can safely say from experience that this is not the normal path women follow. I can’t tell you how many times a brilliant, gorgeous, obsessed woman has ordered me to come to her place at midnight, kissed me when I arrived, instantly changed her mind about the whole thing, told me I’m some silly schoolgirl fantasy, and then sent me away so she can make out with me later when I’ve taken off the rubber suit and replaced with a turtleneck and blazer combo. Oh wait, I can tell you how many times that’s happened because it’s happened zero times. If they don’t want you in the rubber suit, they don’t want you in a turtleneck. Chase Meridian is a ridiculous human being.

This might be the dumbest Batman (Val Kilmer) on record, as he spends most of the film staring stupidly out from behind his mask. Kilmer couldn’t look more bored, though I guess we’re supposed to see him as stoic and emotionally detached. He gives such a blank performance that it’s hard to find a lot to say about him; it is nice to see that Schumacher actually has an interest in Batman, and if there’s one area where FOREVER is better than RETURNS, it’s in the focus on the guy whose name is in the film’s title. Unfortunately, Kilmer has all the charisma of a wet napkin.

His scenes with Chris O’Donnell fall flat.

His scenes with Nicole Kidman fall flat.

In fact, the only person in the film he has any kind of chemistry with is Drew Barrymore’s Sugar, and even then, it only works compared to everything else.

Kilmer also has to perform one of the single dumbest scenes in cinematic history. After Bats shows up at Chase’s place to be her late night booty call and she rejects him in favor of Bruce, Kilmer-as-Batman walks forward, stops in frame, and puts on the fakest smile ever. It’s the single most uncool moment a superhero has ever had.

It also brings up FOREVER’s biggest sin, which is that things happen because the moment needs them to happen; there is little sense of an actual story here, of actual character arcs or narrative cohesion. There’s a constant sense of the story being made up as it goes along. Batman gets rejected by Chase in one scene and in the next one he’s decided Batman is retired forever. We know he means this because he walks around with a remote control shutting down the Batcave, but it comes out of nowhere. It’s like he’s a teenage boy with a job, who then touches his first boob, and decides he’ll never work again.

What?

If there is a Hell, and if Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey wind up there, they’ll spend eternity watching these performances. Both actors spend the film trying to out-ham the other to such a ridiculous degree that one might wonder what they’re doing in the movie. In part, the answer is that it was 1995, a time when Tommy Lee Jones was in 18 movies a year and Jim Carrey was just starting to become a major Hollywood superstar. They are nearly unwatchable, however, and the decision to have Jones try to out-crazy Carrey was an insanely dumb one. When Jones is good in the movie, it’s when he plays things understated. When he’s over-the-top, he just looks old and pathetic.

As for Carrey … good Lord, what were you thinking, early ’90s? Carrey doesn’t give a performance as much as he just throws silly voices and faces and poses at the wall in the hopes that you find him amusing enough to allow him to have a career. I hate him in this role. I would say it’s the worst role of his career, but he does have the Grinch on his resume. If this is better, it’s only slightly so, because he is god-awful here. He’s not playing the Riddler; he’s playing Jim Carrey wearing the Riddler’s clothes.

All of that said, BATMAN FOREVER is not without some redeeming qualities. There’s the Robin-Alfred relationship. There’s the breakneck pacing. The U2 song isn’t bad. There’s … um … well, that shot of the Bat signal being turned into the period at the bottom of a question mark is pretty cool. The reference to Metropolis ain’t bad. Beyond that, though, BATMAN FOREVER is just a really stupid movie.

Unless watching the Batmobile drive up the side of a building is your thing.