THE HOBBIT: There Are Moments Which Can Change a Person for All Time

The Hobbit (1977) – a Rankin/Bass Production – Starring Orson Bean, Richard Boone, Hans Conried, John Huston, Otto Preminger, Cyril Ritchard, Brother Theodore, Paul Frees, Jack DeLeon, Don Messick, John Stephenson, Glenn Yarbrough, and Thurl Ravenscroft.

As I’ve grown older, my appreciation for Rankin-Bass’ animated version of J.R.R. Tolkien’s THE HOBBIT has grown with me. I’ve always liked the special, but when I was a kid it was simply because it’s such a great adventure story. THE HOBBIT was the first book that I’d ever read that felt like an adult book. Prior to that, I’d read plenty of books, with an emphasis on series: The Hardy Boys, The Three Investigators, the Narnia books, Thornton W. Burgess’ Old Mother West Wind stories … but then along came a Hobbit.

I bought the book from one of those flimsy fliers selling books that got passed around in elementary school. It was the first time I’d ever read a book that I both thoroughly enjoyed, and realized that I didn’t understand everything that was going on.

I loved it, though, and it felt like “my” book like nothing every had before.

I started watching the Rankin-Bass special early on, too. I was overjoyed that I could not only read my favorite book but watch it, too! It felt like the special had been made just for me, since, after all, THE HOBBIT was “my” book and all.

There were a few things that stood out for me, and watching the special now, thirty years or more after first watching it, I’m touched by how the same parts of the special still resonate:

THE MUSIC: I can’t really say the music here is good because it’s not like I want these songs on my iPod, but darn if they aren’t perfect here. “The Greatest Adventure” is all kinds of awesome, and there’s something incredibly moving about hearing this song play over the opening titles when Bilbo and the dwarfs are sleeping on the final night. There’s a wonderful mix of fear and excitement, of trepidation and anticipation that marks this moment as a true turning point in the life of our intrepid burglar, Bilbo Baggins.

GOLLUM: Good Lord he’s a creepy and terrifying little bugger, isn’t he? The sequence between Bilbo and Gollum is still as powerful now as it was then. It’s a truly amazing, terrifying sequence. When Gollum goes ape-crap when he realizes his precious is missing, and then when he realizes (or at least suspects) that Bilbo has it … unreal. Total freak out. His eyes are the stuff of nightmares.

THE GOBLINS: It’s always a bit stunning to me just how great a job Rankin-Bass has done getting people to make a special with such terrifying bad guys. I’ve never forgotten how awful Gollum is, how big and fat and horrific the goblins are, and most of all …

SMAUG: The great dragon that hordes the gold in the mountain above Lake Town. The back and forth between Bilbo and Smaug is priceless. I love how Bilbo taunts the dragon and I love how great and powerful Smaug is so easily rattled by the presence of a thief. The art makes Smaug seem even more terrifying. His spittle melts gold and the fire he breathes dances as it torments.

The story here isn’t perfectly told as time forces the filmmakers to rush through bits to get as much covered as possible. At times, THE HOBBIT does have that dreadful feel of a Greatest Hits album, as scene piles on scene and Bilbo and the dwarfs go from escaping one conflict to falling right into the next. The ending, with the Battle of Five Armies, is incredibly rushed, and the final meeting between Bilbo and a dying Thorin lacks a real punch because there’s been so little build-up of their relationship through the film. Basically, Thorin just spends the entire movie being a selfish dick and the other dwarfs are little more than background filler.

Still, the truly stunning animation is enough, even now, to help eradicate the negatives. THE HOBBIT has a distinct visual style that has little to do with other Rankin-Bass specials, but is completely perfect for the story here. In parts terrifying and in others thrilling, THE HOBBIT is a dark, exciting, constantly engaging animated film.

FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND: The Holiday Special that Inspired Weird Science

Frosty’s Winter Wonderland (1976) – a Rankin/Bass Production – Starring Jackie Vernon, Andy Griffith, Paul Frees, and Shelley Winters.

FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND is the official sequel to FROSTY THE SNOWMAN (forget about that FROSTY RETURNS nonsense), and while it’s not as good, it’s still a thoroughly enjoyable Christmas special in it’s own right.

WONDERLAND sees Frosty up at the North Pole, yet to fulfill his promise to “be back again one day” to the kids that originally brought him to life. It’s understandable, I suppose, but a shame, that Jimmy Durante, Karen, Hocus Pocus, and Professor Hinkle aren’t back this time around, as Andy Griffith, anonymous kids, Crystal, and Jack Frost aren’t totally horrible replacements. (Karen can actually be seen in the background in one scene, which is kinda sad that she doesn’t get to play a part with the animated snowman that she was once so close with.)

What’s so wonderful about WONDERLAND is that it contains a good number of the batcrap insane story points that Rankin-Bass seem to so enjoy. First, of course, there’s Karen being relegated to a background role. Second, is that the Jack Frost of this special is not at all the Jack Frost of the JACK FROST special. And most importantly, there’s the deeply disturbing creation of Crystal, Frosty’s wife.

Crystal is born because the kids decide Frosty needs a wife to keep from being lonely. A shrink could do wonders with this idea, that the kid who decides Frosty needs a wife doesn’t decide he needs a pal or a dog or some kind of means of coming inside, but a wife. Frosty thinks this is a wonderful idea because Frosty is, well, he’s more heart than brains, eh? The kids build a female snowman and when she comes to life (complete with a “Happy Birthday” exaltation) she’s already in love with Frosty.

Couple things here – when Crystal finally comes to life after Frosty gives her a flower (suggesting it’s flowers and not hats that bring the snowpeople to life), she tells Frosty she didn’t think he’d ever get it right and bring her to life. This means that the snowpeople are alive before they come alive, since they obviously have an awareness of the outside world.

Think about that next time to punch a snowman, kids, or leave it outside to melt in the warming weather. You’re guilty of murder. Or manslaughter. Or just being a horrible, horrible person whom Santa probably shouldn’t visit next year.

The other creationist bit here that’s a little disturbing is that Crystal is clearly in love with Frosty from the moment she’s animated, which suggests that the kids who create the snowpeople are determining their defining characteristics, robbing the snowpeople of a good deal of real agency.

It’s like a whole town full of Franklin Richards’ clones.

Jack Frost is the bad guy here, and it stems from his jealousy over all the attention Frosty and then Crystal get from the kids. He wants to be loved and he thinks he should be since he’s in control of winter. Frosty is just a happy fat guy, but Jack is the reason for the season, as it were. The kids aren’t impressed by him (I guess when you’ve seen two snowmen come to life, the appearance of a nasally-voiced blue elf ain’t gonna rock your world), which just makes Jack furious. He conspires to take away Frosty’s hat and then top ruin Frosty and Crystal’s wedding, but Frosty and Crystal either dumbly or smartly-pretending-to-be-dumbly tell Jack he’s a great guy and they want him at the wedding and Jack instantly melts because all he’s ever wanted was to be loved.

The kids build a preacher to marry Frosty and Crystal and then the newlyweds, the kids, and Jack Frost decide winter is never going to end. Parson Brown finally steps in and tells them to think about the trees, who need warmer weather to grow, and so the winter folk depart again for the North.

All-in-all, not a legendary special, but a solid one. Jackie Vernon is outstanding once again as Frosty, one of the most likable characters in any of the Rankin-Bass specials. As I mentioned, it’s a shame that Karen and Hocus couldn’t come back (especially with Karen standing in the background), but if you just look at what’s here, FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND holds up a solid special.

Be sure to check out the Holiday Review Index for all the Holiday-themed reviews to be found at Atomic Anxiety.

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN: The Greatest No-Prize Story Ever Told

Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (1970) – a Rankin/Bass Production – Starring Fred Astaire, Mickey Rooney, Keenan Wynn, Paul Frees, Joan Gardner, and Robie Lester.

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN is one of Rankin/Bass’ better Christmas specials, but it often has the feel of existing simply to explain how the song of the same name is possible, rather than a fully-realized story of its own. That’s not to say it isn’t a fantastic special, because it is, but like many of the Rankin-Bass specials (which by now you know that I love), CLAUS often makes the narrative sense of a seven-year old telling a story to a three-year old using whatever toys they have laying around.

How else do you explain the presence of Topper, a lost penguin who hangs out with Kris Kringle (Mickey Rooney) for much of the special, but doesn’t really add a whole lot to the proceedings?

The Marvel Comics No-Prize has been around since the ’60s, and has meant a bunch of different things over the years. When I was a kid, it generally represented your ability to find a continuity mistake in some comic, and then explain it away to show why it really wasn’t a continuity mistake. I tried once or twice to get one, but at that point everyone was trying to get one and the alleged errors and attempted fixes were awfully forced and lame. SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN, however, feels like a No-Prize attempt by someone who is determined to make the “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” song make some kind of narrative sense, and show what made it all possible for Santa Claus to know what you’re doing, who knows when you’re awake, who knows if you’ve been bad or good, and who wants you to be good, for goodness sake.

Which, when you think about it, is where Santa’s plausible deniability is built into the process. He wants you to be good for goodness sake, but it could also mean he wants you to be good or you don’t get a present, so don’t muck up the process by being bad. Just be good, for crying out loud, and the system keeps rolling.

CLAUS is narrated by Special Delivery “S.D.” Kluger (Fred Astaire), who is in charge of delivering Santa’s mail to the North Pole. Kluger is a good dancer, a good singer, and more than a bit creepy. While he seems like an affable guy, he also sees no problem in opening up your mail and reading it for his own enjoyment. Since his truck has broken down, he decides he’s going to tell us the origin of Santa Claus.

Also, the letters in his mail truck talk to him.

Also, who, exactly, is good ol’ S.D. talking to during this special? It’s not like this was a planned stop on his route. The truck breaks down and he just starts yapping away to us. Christmas Serendipity, I suppose.

Santa’s origin starts in the appropriately named town of Sombertown when he’s abandoned on the doorstop of the town’s mayor, Burgermeister Meisterburger, a grumpy old dolt who’s diagnosed with a broken funny bone. The mayor sends the baby to the orphanage, but a storm kicks up, the baby’s sled is lost, and the animals of the forest bring him to the home of the elves. The Kringles all dress like Santa Claus will come to dress. They are expert toy makers, but since Burgermeister is a fuddy duddy, they’re skills are wasted.

Also, there’s the matter of the Winter Warlock, who lives in an ice castle on a mountaintop and prevents the elves from bringing their toys to Sombertown. It’s a double-dose of evil that the elven-named Kris Kringle will have to overcome to deliver toys, and when he comes of age he makes his first attempt. Putting some toys on a sled, he says goodbye to the Kringles and heads across the mountain, where he meets a lost penguin, whom he names Topper.

Yeah, I have no idea why Rankin-Bass decided, “Hey, you know what Kris Kringle needs? A penguin sidekick who doesn’t talk,” except that they thought it never hurts to add a cute animal to one of these specials.

Kris gets to Sombertown (after the Warlock promises to take care of him on his way back) and starts delivering some presents. The kids like them, but the adults don’t because they take their town’s name to heart. The power of bribery is in full-effect in CLAUS; whenever someone important to the story gives Kris some grief about giving presents, he gives them a present and their hearts melt. Most importantly, Kris meets a beautiful young school marm named Miss Jessica. She scolds him but then he gives her a China Doll and she realizes presents are awesome. The same trick almost works with Burgermeister; Kris gives him a yo-yo and he gets all happy about how loves yo-yos, but then his second-in-command reminds him that by using the yo-yo he’s breaking his own law, so he stops.

Be glad he did; if Burgermeister had been so moved by the yo-yo that he overturned his own law banning toys and changed the name of the town to Toysareawesomeville, it would have been a really short special.

Kris hightails it out of town and gets captured by the Winter Warlock. He talks his way out of this mess by, you guessed it, giving the Warlock a gift. He gives him a toy train, to be exact, and this small gift melts the Warlock’s icy heart and he becomes human again and wants to help Kris out with his mighty magic powers.

And this is how the special goes: Burgermeister tries to stop Kris from giving gifts, Kris keeps giving gifts with assistance from Jessica. The special tosses in a love story with a wedding and Kris retaking the name Claus to hide himself. He grows a beard to hide his identity because he’s an outlaw, and then he defeats Burgermeister by the power of his creepy ability to see children sleeping.

No, that’s a lie. He defeats Burgermeister because the Meisterburger line dies out. Really. That’s the resolution to that whole opening conflict – the Burgermeisters just fade away and the townsfolk realize they’d rather have gifts then not have gifts.

There’s plenty of great songs and enough interesting bits to continually keep you amused. They push the explanations on how Santa got to be the Santa we know a bit too much, and he certainly comes off as creepy a few too many times with the spying on the kids, but the talents of Fred Astaire, Mickey Rooney, and Paul Frees are top-notch and the stop-motion animation is as delightful as ever. SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN is one of Rankin-Bass’ best.

Be sure to check out the Holiday Review Index for all the Holiday-themed reviews to be found at Atomic Anxiety.