AVENGERS: EMH: He Brings Shame to All Monkeys with His Cowardice

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes – Season 1, Episodes 8 & 9: “Some Assembly Required” and “Living Legend”

What AVENGERS: EARTH’S MIGHTIEST HEROES does wrong is voices. What it does right is everything else.

Tony Stark’s voice is too smarmy and tinny. Thor’s voice doesn’t have enough weight. Jarvis’ voice is a robot. Zemo’s voice is comically-accented. Pym’s voice is too bland.

Well, okay, that last one works. Really, the only major voice problems are Stark and Thor but they’re big problems. Especially Stark’s. The rest of the voices are passable, if not perfect. In saying that Stark and Thor’s voices are wrong, I don’t mean to imply they don’t sound the way they “should” sound based on the comics. This isn’t the comics. This is the cartoons, and when I say they’re wrong I mean they’re wrong based 1. on the characters on the screen, and 2. on any voice’s particular like-ability.

When I hear Stark talk, I want to punch him. He’s like that mouthy guy in the office a few doors down from you who’s always smarmily tearing everything down by trying to out-pop-culture you.

Battlestar Galactica? I liked it the first time, when it was called StarBlazers.

Wait, which Harry Potter movie are you talking about? The one where Gandalf is played by Michael Gambon or the one where English Bob plays him?

Once, it’s funny. Three months of it incites violence, and if it wasn’t for Mike Greenberg, Stark would easily have the most grating voice on TV.

The voices, however, are only a small blip in an otherwise fantastic show, which features really strong all-ages writing (remember, this is a kid’s show) and fantastic action sequences. It’s the action sequences that really make the show work because they’re imaginative and free-flowing. When Cap tosses his shield around or Thor drops his hammer on someone, you feel it.

Perhaps the best single use of speed in the show so far is when Tony turns around and get the Executioner’s axe embedded in his suit of armor. It comes out of nowhere and it hits Iron Man with a crunching impact. Good stuff, which, yeah, come to think of it is probably outdone by the action sequences that use multiple characters to engage in a quick double-attack combo. It really gives the show a sense of things happening off-screen, so when the team battles Arnim Zola’s Doughboy creations, you’ve got Iron Man, Giant Man, and Thor moving in and around each other in a really effective engagement.

Episode 8 has the Avengers moving into the new Mansion, an attack by the Enchantress and Skurge, a Hulk v. Thor throwdown, and finally the Hulk leaving. The show’s a bit unbalanced in that they take too much time showing off the Mansion, but once Amora starts asserting her influence on Hulk, the show really gains momentum that takes us right through to the finish.

Mandrill makes another appearance, which leads to Thor’s deadpan line you see up above in the title box. They use Thor in this cartoon a bit like Peter Jackson used Gimli Son of Gloin in the Lord of the Rings movies – he’s playing it mostly straight but we’re laughing at his observations.

The show is trying to establish everyone’s personality and because it’s a big cast (when you include all the villains and realize that it’s only a 20-minute show) so there’s a bit of typing going on: Thor is the honorable warrior (who’s out of touch with modern America – “The Mansion has its own voice. It is disconcerting.”); Stark is the smarmy leader (used to getting his way); Pym is the super scientist (who’s unimpressed with the superhero side of things); Wasp is the emotional one (who just wants everyone to get along); and Cap is the honorable solider (who’s out of touch with modern Americ- wait, haven’t I heard this somewhere?”)

Episode 9 details the team finding the thought-dead Captain America. Cap expertly kicks the crap out of the team upon waking up and again the animators deserve credit for the expertly rendered, fast-paced sequence. “Living Legend” exemplifies what the show does best. Beyond the action we’ve got plenty of Marvel Universe goodness sprinkled throughout the show: Baron Zemo, Hydra, Baron Von Strucker, Zola, and Dougboy all make appearances and then at the end we get the big tease of the formation of the hardcore Masters of Evil as Amora and Skurge return to make Zemo an offer.

There’s another solid background subplot with the Black Panther breaking into the Mansion and helping to save Cap’s backside during Steve’s fight with Zemo. It’s nice to see the show slowly building up longer arcs beneath the main plot of a given episode.

A:EMH is proving to be a really enjoyable, engaging show. It’s early but I’m along for the ride. Here’s the official teaser for Episode 10 (which aired last night), which sees the first appearance of Wonder Man:

WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN v2: Little Man Not So Stupid After All

Wolverine and the X-Men, Volume 2: Deadly Enemies – Season 1, Episodes 4-8: “Overflow,” “Thieves’ Gambit,” “X-Calibre,” “Wolverine vs. the Hulk,” and “Time Bomb.”

If you’re waiting for Disney to post the new Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes online (they’ve only got the first two episodes posted, although the Marvel YouTube channel has the micro-episodes) and you don’t want to Torrent them, and you’ve got a Netflix account, WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN is a pretty good alternative.

WATX is a really well-made cartoon. The animation is crisp (even though most of the faces are a bit weirdly rendered), the stories are engaging, the action is solid, the characters are mostly interesting, and there’s a definite feeling of the world existing outside the plot. If there’s a complaint, it’s that it sometimes drops the larger plot (building directly, though the X-Men, towards this dark future they’re supposed to prevent, or picking up the Rogue subplot) for a character-centric episode, but those episodes tend to be rather strong ones, so it makes for a good watch.

Every one of the five episodes included in the DEADLY ENEMIES compilation is a winner, though these episodes are designed more for individual enjoyment rather than working to further the larger plot. We get individual episodes focusing on Storm, Gambit, Nightcrawler, and the Hulk, and end with a team episode that revolves around the Brotherhood and, awesomely, Nitro.

“Overflow” is the Storm Episode. Professor X shows up in Logan’s head to tell him that Storm destroys Africa. Thanks, Chuck. She’s doing what she rarely gets to do in the comics – use her powers to make Africa more fertile for crop growing – and because that’s too good to last, she gets infected by the Shadow King and the X-Men have to show up and stop her. The X-Men part of the plot revolves around the growing tension between Logan and Emma Frost, which means that Emma gets to save the day to prove herself to him.

I wonder if the X-Men, or any superhero team, for that matter, sit around their mansions and try to figure things like that out.

PRE-ADVENTURE
Bobby: “Logan and Emma are fighting again. He’s got trust issues with her.”

Kitty: “That means she’s going to be the big hero in the next fight. You know that, right?”

Bobby: “But we’re fighting Storm! She does weather! I do weather! I’m going to save the day!”

Kitty: “We haven’t established any larger issues for you today. Trust me, Emma’s going to save the day, and since she’s a telepath, we’ll end up fighting a telepath.”

Bobby: “But … but … I want to be the hero!”

Kitty: “Nah, your powers make too much sense. You’ll probably get knocked out before the fighting even starts.”

POST-ADVENTURE
Kitty: “Told you so.”

A solid episode that sees Storm rejoin the team, which is important because she spends the next four episodes doing absolutely nothing.

“Thieves’ Gambit” is the Maggot episode. Wait, that’s is, it’s the maggot episode. Fixed. Clever. Forge creates a device that temporarily inhibits a mutant’s powers, Gambit gets hired to steal it, then he and Wolverine semi-team-up to steal it back. It’s probably the weakest of the five episodes, and it raises one of the unavoidable burps about a cartoon like this – the X-Men don’t know Gambit and it can be a bit much trying to keep straight who the X-Men know and who they don’t. (The same problem happens with any cartoon like this, whether it’s WATX, or Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, or Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends.) Gambit crosses and double-crosses and crosses back, so it’s nice that he doesn’t just fall in line with the X-crowd, but it’s a less-than-thrilling story. There’s a nice cameo by Magma, but the other guest stars (Dr. Zane, Bolivar Trask) are snoozers.

“X-Calibre” is the Nightcrawler episode and it’s a strong one. There’s a dubious trade going on with tankers shepherding mutants to Genosha, and these tankers are getting attacked. Kurt shows up to protect the transported on this particular trip. He starts off protecting the refugees from the ship’s crew and ends up protecting them from Spiral and the Reavers. The X-Men show up too late to help and Kurt tells them he’s not going off with them because he wants to see his current mission through to Genosha. What makes this episode work is Kurt – he’s brooding, he’s concerned, he’s dramatic, he fights with swords, and he teleports all over the place.

In one of the best scenes in the series, he’s trying to figure out how to turn all of these mutant kids weird powers into a functioning unit to save the ship. It’s got humor and gravitas.

“Wolverine vs. the Hulk” sees Nick Fury saving Wolverine’s bacon from the MRD, then lying to him to get him to do SHIELD’s dirty work (SHIELD cameo = Win) and take down Wendigo and the Hulk. It’s a totally fun episode with pretty good fight scenes, though the HULK VS. story with these two is better. What’s nice here is that both Banner and the Hulk have a role to play.

“Time Bomb” gets us back to the larger plot. The Brotherhood breaks Nitro out of prison and Quicksilver (who’s awesome as a total dick) uses Nitro’s inability to stop himself from blowing up for the Brotherhood’s benefit. When Pietro tosses Nitro down a shaft to blow up a MRD complex … awesome. Just awesome. Pietro is fantastic all over this episode – before he breaks Nitro out he goes into the prison just to take pictures of Toad’s reaction to being told Pietro wasn’t going to save him.

We also get more of the Rogue subplot, as we see her care and concern for Nitro in the face of the Brotherhood’s ill treatment. When the X-Men show up to capture Nitro and send him back to the MRD (Nitro had checked himself in so he wouldn’t blow anyone up on accident), they all give Rogue the cold shoulder. Nice guest shot from Psylocke, who’s in her ninja hottie body.

Another fine set of cartoons, though I’d have liked to see a little more overall story building.

WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN v1: Rogue Goes Rogue

Wolverine and the X-Men Volume 1: The Heroes Return Trilogy – Season 1, Episodes 1-3: “Hindsight” Parts 1-3″

After watching the first two episodes of the new Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes show the other night, I was in the mood for more Marvel TV animation and decided to give the first WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN compilation a shot.

Glad I did.

While the HEROES RETURN TRILOGY (the episodes are titled “Hindsight, Parts 1-3″) is occasionally a bit melodramatic (especially in the first episode, with exaggerated facial expressions and emotional declarations), these three episodes engagingly tell the story of Wolverine and the Beast putting the X-Men back together one year after someone done blowed up Charles Xavier and Jean Grey.

Removing Charles and the Redhead is a solid move because it breaks the team up, sending everyone on their way, and allows for Wolverine to step into the leadership role. With Jean around, Scott Summers stays sane and normal; without Jean, he moves into a crummy apartment, doesn’t shave, and fires laser beams at his television. When people come to visit, he blasts them through his wall. (But maybe that’s just for Logan.) With Charles around, Emma Frost never shows up on the doorstep offering her services in using Cerebro; without Charles, she’s a necessary evil. (But maybe that’s just for Logan – Bobby and Scott don’t seem to mind her presence.) With Charles and Jean around, no one’s dumb enough to turn the keys over to Logan; without them, he’s one of the few X-Men with the strength to put a new team together. (Ororo is the obvious choice, but it’s understandable that STORM AND THE X-MEN wouldn’t be a network’s first choice.)

Many of the X-Men are shown simply waiting for something to happen, which is disappointing, but important to show the personal loss they feel without their Sugar Daddy around to give them a home and a purpose and a school and fancy uniforms. The cast rundown for the opening three episodes includes the following:

Kitty Pryde is on her way to Genosha, where Magneto has set up his Mutant Liberia. He’s hidden it behind a circle of clouds because secretly he likes to play with toy unicorns and have tea parties with Rainbow Brite, Magical Barbie, and Jem Without the Holograms. Kitty is all go-getter and yet she’s running away.

Bobby Drake is grounded in his room, even though he’s 18 and thus can do what he wants. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the stones to just leave his parents because there are no classes at the Xavier School on finding practical employment. (Honestly, this is one of my pet peeves with the way comics alters an idea – the Xavier school needs to keep kicking out graduates or else it creates a culture of hanging around, which leads to people being lost when the school gets taken away from them.)

Rogue is all, “Ah’m still mad at you, Logan, for abandoning me ’cause we’re family and families are always supposed to stay together.” We might not know Rogue’s name, but we do know she gets her concept of family from the Waltons.

Hank McCoy is hanging out in the rubble of the X-Mansion doing his science thing because running to his pals in the Avengers or Defenders for help isn’t allowed by copyright.

Emma Frost just shows up because they wouldn’t go looking for her. Having her around is everything but a bad thing. There’s only 2 women on the team through these episodes (it’s just her and Kitty, because Rogue is hanging with the Brotherhood) and she seems to incite a different reaction in each of the dudes. Logan hates her, Bobby lusts over her, and Cyke looks at her like he’s just remembered he likes women. Being the analytical (but fun loving) nerd that he is, Hank is probably wondering how her waist can actually be that thin, but he keeps it to himself.

Cyclops is a loser. Well, okay, you might say he’s always been a p-whipped loser, but now he’s a loser without Jean around to make him feel better and he has to slot into a lower role on the team he doesn’t even want to be on. It’s a great demotion, even if they have to have Charles From the Future show up and tell his hand puppet to stick around. Cyke wears a long coat, which we know is X-Men code for “bad ass.” I can’t wait until Gambit shows up and they chat about fashion. “Iz zat one of my coats, mon ami?” “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what you’re saying. I mean, I never could. Never. I did try to pay Batroc once to kick your Cajun ass but he would only do it if I gave him Rogue’s phone number and I didn’t want the hassle.”

Warren Worthington doesn’t join the team, but he does use Daddy’s money to rebuild the X-Mansion (in about 2 days, apparently), so good for him? I do like that Warren has real reasons for not joining back up full-time. He says he can provide lots of help as long as he’s connected with the family fortune and it’s kinda sad and yet completely true that he recognizes his real value to this team at this time is to provide financial assistance.

Forge is around, but he’s not the bad-ass, hooking-up-with-Storm Forge, but some nerdy, fast-talker, mechanic. I mean, whatever. None of the characters are exactly like they are in the comics and I don’t mind. I own the comics. What I’m concerned with is whether the interior logic works and it does.

And that’s what I like most about WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN. The writers have clearly thought about how to make this cartoon work. They’ve got a story to tell and they’re creating their versions of the characters to work towards that end. It’s the little twists like putting Logan in charge that make this story really work. While certainly not a complex story, there’s more going on than needs to be in a cartoon that ran on Nickelodeon.

Wolverine isn’t a great leader and the cartoon doesn’t shy away from this fact. It’s important that the Beast is the first recruit into Wolverine’s X-Men because he provides a rational, stable counterpart. Putting Wolverine in charge is an interesting twist in that you’ve got the hothead leader and the stable #2, sort of the opposite of Cap’s Kooky Quartet and nearly every other superhero team where the jerk is rarely given the chance to lead.

The Brotherhood shows up with a cool line-up: Quicksilver, an awesomely manipulative Domino, Avalanche, Blob, and green-skinned Toad. They recruit Rogue and then have her lead the X-Men into a trap. After this, Emma uses Cerebro to locate Charles in Genosha, so they go there, get their asses handed to them by Magneto, and leave with a comatose Charles, who then talks to them from the future about … blah blah blah. Good riddance, Chuck.

All in all, this story moves along nicely, with plenty of nice character touches, mystery (we never find out who took out Xavier), and humor. The animation is very solid.

I rented this DVD because it’s only an hour long and if it sucked … I wasted nothing. But it’s pretty good, so I’ll be moving on to Volume#2. If that sucks, I won’t be moving on to Volume #3. As long as the story stays as good as the opening arc, and the characters stay this interesting, WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN is well worth my time.