PARKER: Take Off Your Dress

Parker (2013) – Directed by Taylor Hackford – Starring Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Wendell Pierce, Clifton Collins Jr., Bobby Cannavale, Patti Lupone, Carlos Carrasco, Michah Hauptman, Emma Booth, Daniel Bernhardt, and Nick Nolte. Fifteen years. I was not expecting the number to be that high, but it’s been fifteen years since Jennifer Lopez…

THE EXPENDABLES 2: Track Him, Find Him, Kill Him

The Expendables 2 (2012) – Directed by Simon West – Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Yu Nan, Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Scott Adkins, and Charisma Carpenter. If you’re new to the Anxiety, be aware that SPOILERS LIE AHEAD. This is…

GHOSTS OF MARS: Tide’s Up. Time to Stay Alive.

Ghosts of Mars (2001) – Directed by John Carpenter – Starring Ice Cube, Natasha Henstridge, Jason Statham, Pam Grier, Clea DuVall, and Joanna Cassidy. Look, I have a lot of love for John Carpenter. I think his passion for film is every bit as strong as any other American cinematic auteur, and there’s so much…

THE EXPENDABLES: Come Watch Old Men With Bad Knees Pretend Punch Each Other

The Expendables (2010) – Directed by Sylvester Stallone – Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Gisele Itie, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Charisma Carpenter, David Zayas, Gary Daniels, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sylvester Stallone’s THE EXPENDABLES might be the most insightful movie on stunted masculinity since…