INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL: How Much of Human Life is Lost in Waiting?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Starring Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Shia LeBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Ray Winstone, John Hurt, and Jim Broadbent.

I don’t know what’s happened between 2008 and 2011 but I’ve gone from hating INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL to enjoying it immensely. My life isn’t appreciably different now than it was three years ago, and I don’t remember being in a bad mood that night in the theater when I watched it originally, or in a particularly good mood the other night when I popped it into the DVD player. In fact, I was more in a mood to not like it than like it because I put it in late at night, wanting only to finish it so I could drop it in the outgoing mail Saturday morning instead of having to wait until Monday morning.

My opinion can change quite a bit about movies I watched as a kid and then rewatch now, but I honestly can’t think of any film to have undergone such a radical transformation in three years as CRYSTAL SKULL.

What happened?

The easiest answer is that my expectations were so much higher in 2008 than 2011; back then it was the first Indy film in 19 years and SKULL had the accumulated weight of all those years waiting for the next chapter. Combine that with the general lack of satisfaction from the STAR WARS prequels, the general asshattery of Lucas and Spielberg in constantly tweaking and editing their old films, the inclusion of Shia LeBeouf, and the ridiculous “atomic refrigerator” sequence right near the start, and perhaps it’s simply a matter of my hopes being too high.

If you buy that line, however, then you have to also recognize that I wasn’t a massively huge Indiana Jones fan as a kid, so waiting for INDIANA JONES 4 came in well below the anticipation for the new Star Wars movies, the Spider-Man films, the Batman movies, and especially the Lord of the Rings movies. It was more like, “Hey, new Indy, new Harrison Ford? Let’s go eat some popcorn and watch this sucker.”

I was let down but not crushed in the way I was when THE PHANTOM MENACE festered in move theaters in 1999. I felt betrayed by PHANTOM – like Lucas had personally not only let me down but abandoned me in his insistence that he was making a kid’s movie and so some of the stupidity inherent in the film was okay. I hated that Lucas didn’t allow his films to grow up with me – it’s a selfish response, of course, but when you give all of those years of fandom to a movie you do feel, justified or not, like it was made for you and so you expect that future chapters of the story will be made for you, too. In hindsight, it’s completely silly to think this way, of course. I was a wee lad in 1977 and an adult by 1999, but Lucas was an adult that entire time. And even if he wasn’t, it’s his stories, his characters, his universe, so if he wants to make Star Wars into a kid-movie franchise, that’s his call, not mine. I don’t have to like it, but I was fooling myself if I thought anything else.

I typically like to name my reviews after a line from the movie, which is why I grabbed “How Much of Human Life is Lost in Waiting?” for this review. The line is spoken by Harold Oxley (John Hurt), who took Marion and Mutt in and then went nutty when he gazed too long into the crystal skull. Anticipation can be a great thing, but when it comes to movies or books or TV shows there’s a difference between waiting for the next season and waiting for the potential, hypothetical next Indiana Jones or Star Wars or Police Academy movie. If the people in charge of the franchise aren’t in a rush to get a movie made, you might as well go find something else because if you’re waiting, someone else is waiting, and they might actually have access to enough money to do something about it.

This belief is what led to my oft-repeated, snarky line back around the turn of the century that, “The best Indiana Jones movie ever made was called RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. The second was called The Mummy. The third best was called The Mummy Returns, and no one cares what the fourth best was.” It was (mildly) funny, but I really believed that the Mummy movies were better than the latter two Indy films. I wasn’t going to mourn the lack of a new Indiana Jones movie because I had the two Mummy movies, so when CRYSTAL SKULL came out in 2008 I was just as excited about the third Mummy movie.

Both sucked. So it goes …

Perhaps history will be kind to THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL, because what we have here (when stripped of everything that went into me sitting in a theater three years ago) is a perfectly enjoyable adventure film. It’s not close to perfect, it’s still probably the worst of the four, and it feels trapped in a tug-of-war between Spielberg, George Lucas, and Harrison Ford, but it’s become an enjoyable, if overlong, watch.

As I mentioned, there is a sense of the film being caught between its three creators. From Spielberg, I get the sense that he just wanted to make a mass-appealing roller coaster ride that gave Indiana Jones a happy ending. It’s Spielberg directing from a place of aged contentment; whatever ups and downs Spielberg has experienced over the years, one gets the sense that he’s settled in comfortable with himself and his art at this stage in his life, but not necessarily the world we inhabit. SKULL is set in the late 1950s and it’s easy to see the political unrest in the country – with the (perceived) threat of Commies everywhere – as a stand-in for the “patriotic” discourse fueled by Fox News and the Republicans at the end of the George W. Bush administration.

Lucas, of course, seems to be mentally regressing, using “it’s a kid’s film” as an excuse for crappy film making, yet he’s also clearly the most concerned about his legacy. He initially expressed an interest in seeing this franchise push forward with Shia LeBeouf in the lead (God help us) and there’s more Star Wars content out now (or in the pipeline) than there ever was in the past. The film regrettably dabbles in a bunch of “old man” rhetoric between Mutt and Indy, but luckily neither the film nor the franchise becomes LeBouef’s.

Then there’s Ford, who comes off as something of a curmudgeon these days, his understated demeanor now seeming tired and bored more than anything else. Ford has become, in his own way, a relic of past glories, much like the B-movies that Spielberg and Lucas celebrate with the Indiana Jones series. It’s nice to see him relax a bit here, and he plays the aging archaeologist as a man saddened by what’s happened personally (the deaths of his bad and Marcus Brody) more than nationally (the red scare).

Make no mistake, however, this movie works because of Harrison Ford’s acting more than anything else.

As annoying as LeBeouf can be, Ford is at his best when it’s just him and Mutt on-screen together. Mutt is Indy’s kid, but we don’t find that revelation out until the film is halfway gone. Prior to that revelation, Ford and LeBeouf work well together. LeBeouf’s Mutt Williams is a Brando-esque greaser – exactly the kind of cheap regurgitation of the past that Lucas seems to love so much – and he’s quick to fly into a temper. Indy remains calm, telling Mutt that he doesn’t have to pretend to act tough all the time by getting angry. (It’s advice LeBeouf the actor would do well to heed, too.)

While the initial chase scene across campus with Mutt and Indy goes on too long, the chemistry between them is firmly established and the grave robbing sequence in Peru is effectively produced. I actually enjoyed the Mutt/Indy dynamic fine prior to the revelation of their relationship. When Mutt tells Indy he wants to be a mechanic and that his mom is angry with him for dropping out of school, Indy tells him he should do whatever makes him happy. Contrast that to his post-revelation response, which is delivered to Marion: “Why didn’t you make him finish school?”

I love Karen Allen and I love the character of Marion Ravenwood, but once she shows up in CRYSTAL SKULL the adventure movie we’ve been watching takes an unwanted shift over into a campier realm where bickering is the main conversational tone. Prior to that, what we’re seeing with Indy and Mutt is an extension of the Indy/Short Round relationship from TEMPLE OF DOOM, and it’s a shame that Indy changes into such a parenting dick when he finds out Mutt is his actual kid and not just any old kid.

They’ve dumped the Nazis for the Soviets and it’s a wise choice, with Cate Blanchett’s Irina Spalko serving as the main bad guy. Blanchett plays Spalko as cold and calculating and because of that there’s not really anything memorable in the character. She’s much closer to Julian Glover’s Donovan than Paul Freeman’s Belloq in terms of her overall effectiveness. There’s a whole plot here, of course, that Spalko drives concerning the maybe-alien crystal skulls but it’s all insignificant to the Indy-Mutt and then Indy-Marion relationships.

There are still massive idiot moments in the movie – jumping in the fridge to survive a nuclear bomb test, Mutt’s Tarzan romp through the jungle – but on the whole KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL has become an enjoyable film to me. I like the pacing, I like Ford’s take on Indy, and I like Ray Winstone’s Mac. It’s a tad too silly at times, but it’s also highly enjoyable at other times, too. I wish the film had stayed less busy with the clutter of characters, but on the whole the good far overwhelms the bad.

But I’m not going to hold my breath for INDIANA JONES 5 – there’s plenty of other great films out there needing to be watched for me to wait around waiting for Lucas, Spielberg, and Ford to agree on something new.

Here’s the Full List of Indiana Jones movie reviews:

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: Asps. Very Dangerous. You Go First.
TEMPLE OF DOOM: Two Hours of Kate Capshaw Shrieking Like a Harpy
THE LAST CRUSADE: You Lost Today, Kid. But That Doesn’t Mean You Have to Like It.
THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL: How Much of Human Life is Lost in Waiting?

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE: You Lost Today, Kid. But That Doesn’t Mean You Have to Like It.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Starring Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Julian Glover, River Phoenix, John Rhys-Davies, and Denholm Elliott.

When I was a kid and THE LAST CRUSADE came out, I wasn’t a huge fan of the movie. I liked it well enough, but I disliked the whole Indy and His Dad angle. I wanted to see Indy running through a jungle and cracking his whip, not working through daddy issues and getting Hitler’s autograph. The whole movie was just a tad too comedic for my snobby teenaged self, and while I don’t remember doing it, it would have been just like that dick of a kid that I was to spend loads of time telling anyone who would listen how much more awesome that year’s Tim Burton-directed Batman flick was in comparison. (I wonder if I still feel the same way, which I guess we’ll find out when I review the Batman films in the near future.) I did, after all, buy a Batman movie poster and t-shirt that same summer, so there was no question where my loyalties lie. (I have no idea what happened to the poster, but the t-shirt still gets worn thanks to not wearing it for like 15 years because … I don’t know, it would be worth money some day? Sometimes, I’m stupid.)

I also wasn’t a big fan of seeing Indy as a kid – I was in the Boy Scouts and the Boy Scouts mostly sucked. We never went horseback riding through the Utah desert – or whatever the Massachusetts equivalent to that would have been. We’d go camping but I never rode a horse. We’d go walking through the woods but I never saw a cave, and I sure heck never came across any treasure hunters who would both try to kill me and provide me the fashion template I would use for the rest of my life. (The closest I came to that was when the older kids tied us to a tree and … I’m gonna stop there.) Boy Scouts was mostly just doing pointless stuff to get badges, meeting at a friend’s house every so often, and going to summer camp every year.

The most exciting thing we ever did was take our tent bed mattresses out for a row around the lake. (They floated. I know. We were shocked, too.) Of course, I never actually got to do it because the camp counselors put a stop to our “adventure” before it was my turn, so screw those guys. (Not literally, of course, because the Boy Scouts hate gay people.)

But this is the movies and in the movies when you go for a horseback ride with your Scout troop, you end up stealing a rare artifact from thieves, get chased through a circus train, almost get killed, and then have the sheriff take your stolen artifact back to the original thieves as the archaeologist thief gives you his fedora and departs a life lesson on you that daddy in the other room was too busy to deliver: “You lost today, kid. But that doesn’t mean you have to like it.”

It’s entirely fitting that the movie opens with a youthful Henry Jones, Jr. adventure because THE LAST CRUSADE is very much a step back in time to attempt to recapture the magic of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. In a lot of ways it’s sad to see a director like Steven Spielberg directing scared, but there’s such a neediness in CRUSADE to apologize for the darker tones of TEMPLE OF DOOM and get back to RAIDERS that Spielberg (and Lucas, perhaps) overdoes it, giving us what amounts to an adventure comedy more than an action adventure.

It bothered me as a kid, but it doesn’t bother me now.

THE LAST CRUSADE is a thoroughly enjoyable movie from start to finish. If Lucas and Spielberg created a darker movie with TEMPLE OF DOOM, in part, because of the darker aspects of their own lives at the time, then with CRUSADE they must have been dealing with issues of lost connections in their personal lives. Whatever else CRUSADE is, it’s a movie about making peace with your loved ones, about accepting and appreciating them for who they are without completely letting go of what caused the severed connection in the first place. It’s overriding message is that you can go forward in your life by incorporating people from your past by finding something to do that you would both enjoy.

It’s not a deep message but it doesn’t need to be because CRUSADE isn’t trying to do anything by make nice with you by having its characters make nice with each other.

I don’t know if Spielberg has ever directed anything coming from such a desperate and needy place, but instead of delivering a third Indiana Jones movie that combined the best elements of the first two movies, CRUSADE goes back to the formula of RAIDERS and makes it all lighter and brighter.

Even the return of the Nazis is incredibly simplistic; there’s nary a Nazi or Nazi associate in CRUSADE to match the villainy of Rene Belloq, Arnold Toht, or even the Ark of the Covenant. Julian Glover plays a breezy, sleazy Walter Donovan, a patron of the museum that Indy treasure hunts for, but he’s just a guy who puts pieces in place, not an archaeologist like Belloq who manipulates locals into working for him. You can see that Donovan is supposed to be reminiscent of Belloq, though, with the elitist air, fancy clothes, and willingness to work with the Nazis in order to get his desired treasure.

Where RAIDERS had the over-the-top Toht, CRUSADE gives us Ernst Vogel, a Nazi colonel who’s always in uniform so you remember that he’s a Nazi and thus evil, because without that uniform to remind you of that he’s just a smirk and an empty threat. There’s nothing memorably villainous about him at all, and he never comes across as a guy who can do anyone any harm.

Then there’s Alison Doody as Elsa Schneider, a conflicted character that Spielberg tries to fashion into a sympathetic Nazi, and almost serves as a micro-example of Spielberg’s use of the Nazis as a whole. Elsa works with Indy (and his dad before him) under direct orders from Hitler, but when she’s invited to stand by the Fuhrer at a big book-burning ceremony, she leaves the stage to get all weepy about the burning, telling Indy she doesn’t want to see his father’s notebook burned. “Is that what you think of me?” she asks. “I believe in the Grail, not the Swastika!” Which I guess means she’s totally willing to overlook the Nuremberg Laws, the segregation of the Jews, and the general wave of antisemitism taking place in 1938 Germany in her quest to find a magic cup.

Indy rightly calls her on it, roughly admonishing her: “You stood up to be counted with the enemy of everything the Grail stands for – who gives a crap what you think?”

Elsa reminds him she could scream, thus ending his mission right here, but she doesn’t because … because she believes in the Grail? Or because Indy was good in the sack? There’s plenty of story to be had with a conflicted Nazi, of course, but that’s far too in-depth for CRUSADE to work through.

Similarly, the use of Nazis in general feels conflicted for Spielberg in CRUSADE; in RAIDERS they were sinister but in CRUSADE they’re basically used for their signature flags and uniforms. They’ve become exactly the kind of generic villains that are next-to-meaningless, and completely removed from who they actually were in reality. It worked in RAIDERS because their imagery was downplayed and their evilness was never in question, but in CRUSADE they’re like uncomfortably used props. I’m not saying that Nazis can’t be used as villains in an adventure film by any stretch, but I think using Hitler to execute a prop joke is a bad idea. This is one of the reasons why I think using an organization like Hydra in the Marvel movies is a much better idea that drudging up the Nazi symbols; unless you’re going to address what the Nazis were actually capable of, better to give yourself some distance so you don’t have to wonder why Indy doesn’t just put a bullet through Hitler’s skull instead of dumbly standing there and getting this f*ck’s autograph. (Maybe because it takes place in 1938 instead of 1939?)

All of this is just the stuff that surrounds and enhances the relationship of the two men named Henry Jones. It’s entirely fitting, of course, that Sean Connery plays the elder dad, since Spielberg took the directing assignment on RAIDERS because he wanted to do a James Bond movie and Lucas convinced him Indiana Jones was better than Bond. There’s been touches of Bond throughout the past two films, though he doesn’t really go in that direction with Connery. Henry Jones, Sr. isn’t an adventurer but an academic, even being surprised when he realizes there are people trying to kill them.

“This hasn’t happened before.”

“Happens to me all the time,” Indy growls back.

Because Connery is Connery, he can make Ford come off as a wounded kid. It’s fantastic acting by Ford – perhaps his best in the entire film series because he has to make Indy seem both his normally heroic self and also like a kid hurt by his dad’s lack of attention. Senior’s insistence that he was a good parent because “I didn’t ask you to eat your vegetables or do your homework” is classic justification of his absent parenting. And when Senior laughs at the Nazi’s insistence that Junior brought Senior’s diary right back to him, Ford’s embarrassed look that lets everyone see that’s exactly what he did is priceless.

It’s the interplay between Ford and Connery that makes CRUSADE a triumphant film as the two men grow together over the course of the story. The Holy Grail isn’t the Ark of the Covenant, but it’s a fitting object of desire for a film that’s about a dad and his son doing something together instead of doing something apart. Where RAIDERS introduced Indiana Jones with a booby-trapped temple that he had to navigate, CRUSADE sends him into the sunset with a series of booby traps protecting the final Knight Templar and the Grail’s resting place. That the Grail is a plain cup instead of an ornate goblet is something that always stuck with me; I dig that the Grail is something that has becomes powerful and desired because it was something ordinary in an extraordinary situation.

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE might try too hard to make-up for Spielberg’s disappointment with TEMPLE OF DOOM (it’s like it’s saying, “Sorry we didn’t use Marcus last time, so we’ll let him tag along this time! We’ll even throw in Sulla, too!”) but it’s a light romp of enjoyable popcorn. The father-son material that made the teenage version of me scoff now resonates with the older me, and CRUSADE has gone from a movie that meant little to a film that means a whole lot.

THE INDIANA JONES REVIEW COLLECTION:
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: Asps. Very Dangerous. You Go First.
TEMPLE OF DOOM: Two Hours of Kate Capshaw Shrieking Like a Harpy
THE LAST CRUSADE: You Lost Today, Kid. But That Doesn’t Mean You Have to Like It.
THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL: How Much of Human Life is Lost in Waiting?

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM: Two Hours of Kate Capshaw Shrieking Like a Harpy

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Jonathan Ke Quan, Amrish Puri, Roshan Seth, Philip Stone, and Dan Ackroyd.

What do you do with a movie like TEMPLE OF DOOM?

On the one hand, it’s not a very good movie; it’s dark and depressing, full of unmemorable characters that feel like they’re pulled from old adventure stories that would be better off being remembered for their style and passion instead of their use of racial stereotypes.

On the other hand, it’s an Indiana Jones movie, and we’ve only got four of them.

While TEMPLE OF DOOM isn’t a very good movie, it’s not a numbingly bad movie, either. There’s certainly a lot of stuff going on, and only the overly long and drawn out set piece in the middle of the film depicting human sacrifice really constitutes as boring. Like its predecessor RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, TEMPLE is still a roller coaster, it’s just a roller coaster in an amusement park I don’t want to visit.

There are so many little things wrong with TEMPLE that it’s like somehow everyone involved had a brain cramp during the entire production that led to incredibly questionable decisions. At the core of the movie is still Harrison Ford playing Indy, but it’s not a particularly involved or passionate Indiana Jones this time around. Still, Ford is a pro and Indy is a great character and he finds ways to make his part mostly enjoyable. If only the same could be said for the rest of the film.

Most of the problems of the film seem to stem from, or revolve around the Shrieking Harpy. Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) is a singer at a Shanghai nightclub that gets dragged into Indy’s adventure after she inserts herself into the wrong place at the wrong time. She then spends the rest of the movie either b*tching and moaning or shrieking in fear. There’s no narrative arc to her character, at all, which is what ultimately damns her in my eyes. Willie is at her worst during her first night at camp in the jungle. As Indy and Short Round play poker by the campfire, Willie is “AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!”ing all over camp as she runs into various animals. She’s a horrendous character and Spielberg and Lucas treat her incredibly poorly. Willie is just this money-grubbing, shallow, shrieking, awful woman.

Where’s Karen Allen? Where’s Marion Ravenswood’s moxie? Her resourcefulness? Who thought replacing a tough, capable, but vulnerable woman with a scream queen was a good idea?

And worse, what’s happened to Indy? With Marion, his wrongs were things of the past that he spent the film trying to atone for, either overtly or as a by-product of who he was as a man at that stage in his life, but with Willie’s, Indy’s dickishness is happening NOW, right in front of us. He’s gone from being this awkwardly romantic figure to a guy just trying to get laid by a hot woman in an Indian palace. He doesn’t remotely like Willie, and yet she’s hot so he’s going to take a run at spending the night in her bed as opposed to his own. Worse, given the way Short Round acts about Indy’s real reasons for wanting to see Willie that night, the inference is that he’s done this sort of thing plenty of times before.

There’s a bit of a James Bond vibe running through TEMPLE that doesn’t work and is curious for its inclusion. Spielberg has always said he wanted to direct a James Bond movie, and that RAIDERS was his chance to do that kind of grand, globetrotting adventure. TEMPLE has two scenes with a Bond feel to it and neither of them work. The second is the seduction scene above, while the first is the opening scene of the movie. Where RAIDERS gave us the phenomenal temple/rolling ball sequence with Indy in his signature geat, TEMPLE sees Indy dressed in a white-jacket tux at a Shanghai nightclub dealing with Chinese gangsters. Indy gets poisoned and the antidote is in a vial that keeps being knocked around the floor. It’s lame.

Another problem with TEMPLE is that there’s no joy. RAIDERS had a passionate Indiana Jones trying to find a treasure before his main, Nazi-hired rival found it. In TEMPLE, Indy is guilted into trying to recover a stone precious to a small village that’s missing its children.

Missing kids, slave labor, human sacrifice … not exactly a whirlwind of super-fun good times. The stock bit of conventional wisdom that’s sprung up around TEMPLE OF DOOM is that it’s too dark, but I think the problem isn’t that the film is too dark, but rather that the filmmakers didn’t have enough faith in the dark story to see it all the way through. If you want to do a grim movie, do it, but don’t do a grim movie and then try to pretend it’s not by having a the shrieking buffoon-slash-love interest and some unbelievably ridiculous stunt sequences.

There’s two stunt sequences here that stretch my willingness to believe. The first is when Indy, Short Round, and Willie jump out of a plane IN A RAFT. God. Stop. Then the raft goes over a waterfall and lands fine AGAIN. If the whole film operated on this idiotic level, fine, but it doesn’t. Spielberg uses this scene to counter all of the dark stuff by giving us a bit of the ridiculous. The second sequence is the mine cart chase. There’s a couple of unbelievable bits (the cart jumping over a big break in the tracks and landing perfectly so they can keep going) but at least it’s a really fun, engaging scene.

Unfortunately, there’s no signature villain here, as TEMPLE trades in the slick charm of Belloq for mad priests in ceremonial paint and headdress. Spielberg doesn’t bother to create any of the villains as individuals – they just fit stereotypical roles of dangerous savages trying to kill the hero.

Way too much of the movie takes place inside, too. It seems like we’re always in a nightclub or plane or palace or tunnel or cave or mine … everything feels cramped and poorly lit. The humor almost always fails, too. Were people still laughing in 1984 at foreign cultures eating weird food?

If there’s one shining star in TEMPLE OF DOOM, it’s Short Round (Jonathan Ke Quan, who’s screen-credited as Ke Huy Quan). Far from the annoying kid sidekick he could very well have been, Short Round is smart, resourceful, and most importantly, morally on point. He’s turned Indy into his surrogate dad (Indy rescued him from the streets), and there’s plenty of bits where he’s just trying to mimic Indy, but mostly he’s protecting Indy or kidding with Indy or arguing with Indy about cheating at cards. Quan does a fantastic job making Short Round work, and it’s a shame that Spielberg thought it was a good idea to have Willie around to take screen time away from him.

TEMPLE OF DOOM is one of those films that’s probably better than its reputation, but only because that reputation is so low; Spielberg and Lucas have followed up the brilliant, seminal RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK with a giant misstep. If TEMPLE had focused on the Indy/Short Round relationship – perhaps playing off Indy’s rough relationship with his own dad – and made Willie’s arc about integrating into that relationship, it would have gone a long to balancing all of the dreariness.

THE INDIANA JONES REVIEW COLLECTION:

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: Asps. Very Dangerous. You Go First.
TEMPLE OF DOOM: Two Hours of Kate Capshaw Shrieking Like a Harpy
THE LAST CRUSADE: You Lost Today, Kid. But That Doesn’t Mean You Have to Like It.
THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL: How Much of Human Life is Lost in Waiting?