MONSTER ZERO: Invasion of Astro-Monster

Invasion of Astro-Monster (original Japanese title, 1965); Monster Zero (original American title, 1970) – The 6th Godzilla Film – Directed by Ishiro Honda – Starring Nick Adams, Akira Takarada, Kumi Mizuno, Jun Tazaki, Akira Kubo, Yoshio Tsuchiya, and Haruo Nakajima.

Originally titled INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER, the film was re-titled MONSTER ZERO for its American release five years later. I’m reviewing the American version because that’s what Netflix played when I hit play. It’s not surprising, of course, that they’d play the American version of the film for the American audience, but it is a little weird that they don’t give you the option on which version to watch. Perhaps this is a right’s issue, or perhaps they’re lazy, or perhaps research tells them this is what people want. To be honest, I don’t really mind because it’s just nice that they have some of these films streaming since most Godzilla films are marked with the unfortunate “Short Wait” designation.

It’s also important, I think, to watch the American versions from time to time as these would have been the films I was raised on, if I actually watched these entire films growing up instead of just watching the bits where the monsters beat the monsters out of each other.

MONSTER ZERO / INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER is the sixth film in the Godzilla franchise and after the original GOJIRA, that this is my favorite of the lot, so far. This is an amazing, amazing, amazing, movie, hitting all sorts of proper notes. Once again, it shows just how amenable Godzilla is to all kinds of genres. This time out, we get Ishiro Honda’s version of a 1950s sci-fi invasion flick. Like the bulk of his Godzilla work, Honda gives us a simple, but compelling human story to support the monsters.

This time around, we get an American added to the mix. Nick Adams plays Glenn, an American astronaut sent with his partner Fuji (Akira Takarada), to investigate Planet X, a newly discovered planet just beyond Jupiter. When they arrive they find a 1980s New Wave rock band that opened for Devo on the New Traditionalists Tour. Glenn and Fuji are politely captured by the aliens, who tell them that they have a kaiju problem – Ghidorah. Glenn and Fuji recognize the monster from the last Godzilla film and the leader of Planet X, the Controller, tells them they need the Earth’s help to rid them of Ghidorah, or as they call him, “Monster Zero.”

What the Controller needs is Monsters 1 and 2: Godzilla and Rodan.

Glenn and Fuji think this is crazy, which is kinda silly because if I lived on Earth and had two massive monsters occasionally showing up to destroy a city and some New Wave playing aliens hiding behind Jupiter wanted them to help beat up a third monster … well, I mean, the aliens wouldn’t have to promise me a cure to all diseases to get me to let them borrow my monsters.

MONSTER ZERO succeeds, in part, for the sheer insanity of the plot – aliens want to borrow Godzilla and Rodan to beat up Ghidorah because they watched the last movie and saw Godzilla and Rodan beat up Ghidorah. (They don’t mention why they don’t want Mothra, but it’s probably because the Shobijn creep them out.) What makes all of the oddities work, though, is the very human relationship between Nick and Fuji.

The movie was filmed with Nick Adams speaking his lines in English and Akira Tarada speaking his in Japanese. Did either of them understand what the other one was saying? You’d be hard pressed to convince me that Adams and Tarada weren’t pals in real life because their chemistry is the heart of the film. More than any previous Godzilla movie, I feel like ASTRO-MONSTER survives and thrives based on personality. Where previous films have often given us characters that felt functional (which is not to say they weren’t often also excellent characters), MONSTER ZERO has personality oozing out of Americans, Japanese, and Kaiju.

Check out this exchange between Fuji and Glenn. After coming back from Jupiter, they’re sitting in a restaurant waiting on Fuji’s sister to arrive with her nerdish boyfriend, looking like two swinging dudes at a Vegas joint waiting for Danny Ocean to come fill them in on the night’s plan. Glenn tells Fuji he’s got a date of his own to get to.

“Japanese girl?” Fuji asks. “Not the wrong kind, I hope.”

“If you had to check up on a girl’s past every time you went on a date,” Glenn replies quickly, “you’d never fall in love.”

Glenn and Fuji have this type of back and forth chemistry throughout the film, with Fuji playing the straight man to Glenn’s more cavalier approach to life, but it’s not just the humans who get a dose of individuality in MONSTER ZERO, it’s the Kaiju, too.

When Godzilla and Rodan get taken to Planet X and beat up Ghidorah for the first time, Godzilla dances. Yes. Dances. It’s not an overly complicated number that you’d set to the musical accompaniment of “Suit and Tie” or anything, but Godzilla happily jumps in place. The film’s sound emphasizes the BOOM whenever he lands, but it’s pretty clear Godzilla is so pleased with what he and Rodan did that he’s dancing in place. Even better, however, when Glenn and Fuji climb into a rocket to head back to Earth, Godzilla and Rodan watch them go like they’re sad puppy dogs in the window not wanting to be left behind. The astronauts even make a point to mention it, and you can see the continuation of the theme from earlier films that there’s more to these monsters than being monsters.

The Controller and Planet X folks then pull the “Ha, ha! We’re actually interested in conquering you!” move, and now they’ve got Ghidorah, Godzilla, and Rodan under their control. It’s the Fuji’s sister’s nerdy boyfriend who comes up with the solution, thus saving the Earth and proving himself to Fuji. The aliens are defeated, the boyfriend proves himself, Glenn sees his lady friend get killed because she’s really an alien spy who loves him and love cannot be tolerated by the logic-driven aliens, and when it’s all done, Glenn basically slaps Fuji on the back and says, “Let’s go to the Playboy club. I heard Draper’s in town.”

But the scientist standing near them isn’t having it. “Oh, no,” he says in response to Glenn saying they need a vacation, “you’re going to be our first Ambassador to Planet X.” Glenn’s like, “Are you kidding?” but says it in a way that tells you his first thought was that there’s a whole phalanx of women on Planet X who are look-alikes for his dead girlfriend and he intends to enjoy himself. The best part, though, is Fuji laughing at him and giving him a thumbs down, the more restrained astronaut finally relaxing and enjoying himself.

There are few movies about which I would say that if you haven’t seen this film, your life is missing something, but INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER / MONSTER ZERO is definitely one of those films. I can’t wait to buy it and add it to the collection. This is an amazing movie.

This is why popcorn was invented.

GHIDORAH, THE THREE HEADED MONSTER: If Mothra, Rodan, and Godzilla All Cooperate

Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster (Japanese, 1964; American, 1965) – The 5th Godzilla Movie – Directed by Ishiro Honda – Starring Yosuke Natsuki, Yuriko Hoshi, Hiroshi Koizumi, Akiko Wakabayashi, Emi Ito, Yumi Ito, and Haruo Nakajima.

GHIDORAH, THE THREE HEADED MONSTER is an excellent movie, but it’s the first time in the Godzilla series I wish Ishiro Honda had broken with his strong desire to tell a human-driven story and instead just gone balls out with monster mayhem.

I understand that I’m going rogue on this, that one of the most detestable things a sequel can do is simply over-indulge on the signature moments from an earlier film, but there’s such an awesome set-up here of having Mothra, Godzilla, and Rodan team up to take on Ghidorah that I could have forgiven Honda and Toho if they’d simply gone, “F*ck the story, how many cities can we destroy in 90 minutes?”

The plot here is almost irrelevant to the mayhem, yet that is what gives the Honda/Toho films such strength. Even though the human portions of the film aren’t nearly as awesome as the monster portions, they’re actually more compelling. It’s a fascinating approach to storytelling and movie making – the humans are used to tell a gripping story while the monsters are used to deliver the action. Imagine if Die Hard had sent 2/3 of the film telling Holly’s story and then the last 30 minutes showing John McClane and Hans Gruber punch and kick and shoot each other.

But yeah, the real selling point of GHIDORAH is the big battle between four monsters and six heads.

Without question, the single best moment of the film and one of the single greatest scenes you will ever see comes deep into GHIDORAH where the Shobijn (Emi Ito, Yumi Ito) and the humans are watching Mothra (in caterpillar form) try to convince Godzilla and Rodan to stop beating the crud out of each other and team up to defeat Ghidorah. What’s amazing about the scene (beyond the simple awesomeness of watching a camera cut between an upright lizard, a flying dinosaur, and a slug nodding their heads at each other) is that the Shobijn translate the discussion for the humans standing with them.

It’s amazing.

A.

MAY.

ZING.

It’s utterly insane and bizarre and incredibly humanizing to hear the Shobijn translating all of these screeches and grunts into normal conversation: “Mothra is trying to get them to help but Rodan and Godzilla don’t want to. They say humans hate them.”

What? Godzilla has feelings?

Brilliant.

Madly brilliant.

The chat goes on forever, too, so the movie wants you to know these aren’t just GODZILLA SMASH styled mindless monsters. They’ve got actual intellects, so even though the Kaiju typically appear in a movie because the humans have unwittingly uncovered them, there’s more going on in their brains than we’ve seen. Even given that the Shobijn are putting the monster talk into human talk (and it’s a further translation given that I watched the English language version because that’s what Netflix streaming defaults to showing), it’s a mindbendingly awesome sequence.

I love the human sidebars, too, where they become increasingly frustrated that Rodan and Godzilla refuse to help. Detective Shindo (Yosuke Natsuki) laments, “these monsters are as stupid as human beings!” and that’s the entire film series brilliantly boiled down to a single line. The best line, however, goes to the Shobijn, who during their translating refuse to repeat one of Godzilla’s lines and instead offer up, “Oh Godzilla, what terrible language!”

I haven’t said much about the human plot of GHIDORAH because it’s kinda bland this time around. There is a solid subplot with an escaped Princess (Akiko Wakabayashi) who thinks she’s a Martian and can predict the future but it doesn’t gain a lot of traction with me. I kept thinking that there’s four big monsters coming, let’s get to them quicker for a change and integrate the human plot with the destruction instead of setting up the destruction. This is the fifth movie in the Godzilla series and I wouldn’t have minded if they’d altered the formula.

GHIDORAH is a step down from MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA, but it’s still a fine addition to the franchise.

KING KONG VS. GODZILLA: I Want My Own Monster!

King Kong vs. Godzilla (American version, 1963) – The 3rd Godzilla Movie – Directed by Ishiro Honda and Thomas Montgomery – Starring Michael Keith, Tadao Takashima, Kenji Sahara, Yu Fujiki, Arnold Johnson, Ichiro Arishima, Mie Hama, Shoichi Hirose, and Haruo Nakajima.

This movie is insane.

I love it.

I watched the American version of KING KONG VS. GODZILLA. There wasn’t any real logic to this decision except that’s what started playing when I hit play. I’m glad this is the version I watched, though, because it’s one of the most compelling stews of insanity and genuine emotion around. It strikes the perfect chord for what I want when I throw a Kaiju movie into the Blu-ray player – it’s big, wild, crazy, and infused with genuine human drama. I don’t know if I’d prefer the original version, as it’s the American version that adds the newscaster angle into the plot.

Yeah, there’s a newscaster in KING KONG VS. GODZILLA and he’s not out reporting from the scene or being, in any way, dramatic. No, newscaster Eric Carter (Michael Keith) is as calm and cool reporting on the arrival of King Kong and Godzilla into the world as if he’s reporting on the pie eating contest at the State Fair. It’s genius. And rubbish. And totally bizarre. Eric Carter is the kind of guy who could read, “Asjd sdfsdf suodffjop0 roerpdjj aoweujfoj aofjoaue9iopifjoidjfdf dfia” off the teleprompter without a second’s hesitation.

Carter’s news center is apparently at the United Nations and he spends a lot of time talking through the International Communications Satellite with his Japanese analog. What I absolutely love about this whole set-up is that I can’t tell if Carter thinks he’s broadcasting the news or if he thinks we’ve all popped over to his house to make friendly banter about the latest in Kaiju happenings. I half expected a fondue pot to be sitting on his desk, and his pin-up wife with her beehive hairdo to be visible over his left shoulder, lounging on a rag sofa and reading a magazine while sipping on and orange mescaline cocktail.

This is not Walter Kronkite sitting at a desk and somberly delivering the news of monster devastation. No, this is High Hefner in a smoking jacket talking about how he and some buddies went fishing and accidentally saw his neighbors having sex in a canoe. Carter has this bemused, aloof air the whole time, and you can almost see the actor playing him imagining the vacation in Palm Springs this acting gig is going to bring him.

It gets even better when Carter brings in a scientific expert (Arnold Johnson) to explain why Godzilla and King Kong have shown up and are stomping around the world, heading for Japan on a collision course. The scientist actively looks for the camera to make sure you’re understanding that what he’s saying is important. “You see,” he says sincerely, “the man was putting his penis into her vagina while in the canoe. It was quite the thing.”

There’s a subplot involving red berries from Faro Island that can cure all the bad things in the world or something. A pharmaceutical company wants to harvest the berries, but the natives won’t allow this because their mysterious giant god who lives on their island that no one has ever seen likes them. One of the pharma reps is made that they’re not getting enough press, so he screams like a five year old that, “I want my own monster!”

What’s important is that the invisible giant god who the Faro Islanders worship but have never seen is King Kong. He reveals himself to protect the islanders from a giant octopus. Kong defeats the giant octopus and then drinks two big barrels of the red berry juice and falls asleep, which allows to reps from the pharmaceutical company to tie Kong to a raft and haul him in the direction of Japan, where the pharma company that now “owns” him wants to use him for publicity.

All of that actually happens.

Godzilla enters the movie because he was trapped in an iceberg. Now, I believe the original version meant this to be a direct continuation of GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN, where the Kaiju is defeated by burying him in snow and ice and rock. The American version doesn’t really bother with this because ol’ Eric Carter is too busy thinking about heading to Atlantic City for the weekend.

There’s an intriguing difference in how humans relate to the two monsters. With King Kong, it’s the two pharma reps doing their best bumbling idiot routine. They provide a bit of comic relief to the proceedings, while Godzilla brings the tragedy. The humans embroiled in the Godzilla half of the film are just normal folks trying not to get killed by a giant freaking lizard.

Oh, that reminds me. The expert scientist? He explains to the people at home that Godzilla is likely part Tyrannosaurus Rex and part Stegosaurus by flipping through pictures of a dinosaur book.

Does anyone else suddenly picture Doctor Hammond sitting off-screen, eating melting ice cream, mumbling, “Spared no expense” into his Alka Seltzer and absinthe?

King Kong and Godzilla eventually fight because it’s in the movie’s title and all of the action scenes provide the goods.

Through it all, KING KONG VS. GODZILLA has the right mix of fun and drama. The fact that newscasters can treat the arrival of King Kong and Godzilla with such easy charm should not work, yet it gives the movie the right added bit of nostalgic charm. It’s almost like they approach it all like they know it’s just two guys in rubber suits stepping on toys and cardboard. At the same time, though, we’ve got the folks who are having their lives turned upside down by Godzilla to balance off the absurd with some genuine emotion. It’s a perfect mix, and this is a strangely perfect movie.

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When he’s not talking to other writers, Mark Bousquet is doing some writing himself. He is the author of multiple novels and collections, including the recently released The Haunting of Kraken Moor, Gunfighter Gothic, Stuffed Animals for Hire, Dreamer’s Syndrome, Harpsichord and the Wormhole Witches, and Adventures of the Five. He has also published a review collection entitled Marvel Comics on Film, which covers every cinematic and TV movie based on a superhero from the House of Ideas. A complete listing of all his work can be found at his Amazon author page.