DEATH RACE 3: INFERNO: Anyone Can Be Frankenstein

Death Race 3 (2013) – Directed by Roel Reine – Starring Luke Goss, Danny Trejo, Ving Rhames, Dougray Scott, Tanit Phoenix, Robin Shou, and Fred Koehler.

DEATH RACE just might be the best B+ movie franchise going right now.

DEATH RACE 3 is a sequel to DEATH RACE 2 and a prequel to DEATH RACE and it is, once again, a surprisingly good movie. I should probably stop saying that but while there’s the usual sequel degradation here (DR3 isn’t as good as DR2, which isn’t as good as DR1), the slippage is never as deep as I fear it will be, and I always end up liking these movies quite a bit.

There’s a bit of a blip here at the beginning that doesn’t work well with the end of DR2. We saw Carl “Luke” Lucas (Luke Goss) “die” near the end of that film and the birth of Frankenstein. There was a clear implication that Lists (Fred Koehler) and Katrina (Tanit Phoenix) highly suspected that Frankenstein was Lucas, but at the start of DR3, Frankenstein is being a total dick and Lists, Katrina, and Goldberg (Danny Trejo) now apparently think it’s not Luke in the suit.

Ving Rhames makes an appearance to sell Death Race to Dougray Scott, who takes Frankenstein and 14K (Robin Shou) to Africa to internationalize Death Race. It’s a great idea, both internally and externally. There’s really no reason they can’t make 3 or 6 or 20 more Death Race movies using this model, rotating a never-ending series of cars, racers, and Frankensteins. It’s very admirable that Universal and its partners have stepped up to make a quality film. There’s no actor here that’s going to break the budget, but Luke Goss is perfectly fine as a poor man’s Jason Statham, and the inclusion of actors like Trejo, Rhames, and Scott show the producers know how to balance star quality and acting talent. Toss in the returning Koehler and Phoenix, and DR3 just feels like a quality movie more than a simple franchise cash and grab.

I can’t stress enough how much that matters – by the time you hit a third movie, you’re not likely to market the film to new fans; it’s the fans that have been around that serves as your financial bread and butter and DR3 hits all the right notes for fans of the series. It’s a simple enough story, too, so it’s accessible to new fans, as well.

There’s a plot here but it’s a plot we know well by now. Evil corporate prison people hold a Death Race and take an interest in Frank. Cars blow up. People die. There are lots of explosions. There are some down moments – there’s too much time spent to Luke’s crew being mad at him for not revealing his secret to them, and there’s some really bad exchanges between Luke and Katrina over there romantic entanglements (it just reads wrong when hardened criminal Katrina breaks down in tears at the idea that her hardened criminal not-even-boyfriend slept with another woman), but all of these dings are salvaged in a really strong 10 minutes where DR3 pulls the “here’s what you didn’t see” move. What’s impressive is that in this compressed time we get a whole new way to look at the movie, which rewards you for paying attention, something a movie like DR3 doesn’t really need to do.

Director Roel Reine is back for his second DR film in a row and he does a better job this time around. Overall, the film isn’t as strong, but it’s the best ending of the entire series. Evil media guy Niles York (Scott) gets his comeuppance when Luke successfully pulls off a scam that has York end up burned and mistaken for Luke, thus becoming the new Frankenstein.

If you’ve liked the first two DEATH RACE films, there’s no reason you won’t like the latest installment. Here’s hoping it’s not the last we’ve seen of this franchise.

DEATH RACE 2: Is That Supposed to Be Deep?

Death Race 2 (2010) – Directed by Roel Reine – Starring Luke Goss, Lauren Cohan, Ving Rhames, Danny Trejo, Sean Bean, Deobia Oparei, Tanit Phoenix, Fred Koehler, and Robin Shou.

So this was a bit weird.

If you’ve read my reviews of DEATH RACE 2000 and DEATH RACE, you know I like car movies and the DEATH RACE films. I was vaguely aware there was a DEATH RACE 2 that was a prequel, but I never bothered to watch it. The idea of a sequel that’s actually a prequel isn’t my preferred mode of storytelling (why they can’t move the DEATH RACE story forward is beyond me – if anyone can wear the mask, it’s easy enough to just keep the ruse going) but with the release of DEATH RACE 3 (which is a sequel to the prequel but still a prequel to the original) and both 2 and 3 being available, now was the time to finally watch it.

I’m glad I did, as DEATH RACE 2 is a very satisfying better-than-B, less-than-A movie, but that’s not the weird part.

The weird part is that this film has, as one of its antagonists, an actress named Lauren Cohan. She plays September Jones, and fills the uber-bitch role that Joan Allen played in the first film. Jones is the television executive/personality that comes up with the idea of Death Race after the public grows bored with Death Match, a gladiatorial event that pitted prisoners against one another. Jones is tough, driven, lacking in morals, willing to do whatever it is she has to do to get ahead, and totally hot.

I couldn’t ever remember seeing Ms. Cohan in anything before and (barring some insignificant role) I kinda figured I’d remember it if I did.

After watching DR2, I didn’t want to watch anything else I might review until after writing this review, or watch anything that I really wanted to, you know, actually watch, so I figured it was time to give The Walking Dead another try. I was halfway through episode 1 of season 2, as I wasn’t a huge fan of season 1 and couldn’t even make it through the first full episode of season 2 without stopping it and doing something else. A show that didn’t move me and an episode that didn’t move me made for the perfect choice, I finished that episode off and the cliffhanger was good enough I let episode 2 play and wouldn’t you know who showed up before that episode was up?

Yup, Lauren Cohan.

She’s just as good as Southern farm girl there as she is as bitchy amoralist here, but I think I’d like Walking Dead a hundred times better if September Jones was walking around in that post-apocalyptic world, making TV shows about criminals fighting zombies. (Did I just make a movie? Darn straight, I did. You’re welcome, Hollywood.)

I shouldn’t like DEATH RACE 2, but I really like it quite a bit. It’s the sequel as prequel, there’s not nearly enough car racing, and the ending gives you the feeling they run out of money so they just decided to stop it wherever they were in the script, but it’s actually a really violently fun film.

The premise is that we get the story of the first Frankenstein, the guy that dies (or allegedly dies) at the beginning of DEATH RACE. Carl “Luke” Lucas (Luke “Luke” Goss) is a driver for Markus Kane (Sean Bean), a criminal kingpin who you know will die before the end of the film because people don’t hire Sean Bean if the role doesn’t call for the character getting offed. The set-up is one of those typically dumb movie set ups: Kane wants to rob a bank (because bank robberies always go off so well) and gives Luke, his right hand man, a crew of young screw-ups.

And a bright yellow Mustang.

That’s right – a criminal mastermind gives his right hand man a highly difficult mission with a highly sketchy crew and a highly improbably getaway car. They go rob the bank but the young crew shoots up the place and Luke ends up getting caught and sent to Terminal Island, where Kane puts a hit out on him, even though they’re best mates and even though Luke hasn’t talked to the Feds. Luke, for some reason, doesn’t think Kane would ever put a hit out on him because he believes in bromance over business, while Kane believes in business over bromance.

At Terminal Island, Luke falls in with Goldberg (Danny Trejo) and Rocco (Joe Vaz), as he’s been assigned to Goldberg’s work detail. (I pointed out in my review of DEATH RACE how that film borrowed quite a bit from Shawshank Redemption, and I like to think they named Danny Trejo’s character Goldberg and had him say he was the last Mexican Jew as another playful nod to Frank Darabont’s film.) They’re eventually joined by Lists (Fred Koehler), a nerdy inmate that befriends Luke.

The opening hour of the film is devoted to the bank robbery and Death Match and even though I was here for the cars more than a prison drama, it was actually pretty entertaining. DR2 moves fast and doesn’t go cheap on the action. The racing finally arrives when Jones convinces Weyland (Ving Rhames) that-

Wait. Weyland? Head of Weyland International? Is this an attempt to tie DEATH RACE into the Alien/Predator universe? Is Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender going to spend Prometheus 2 driving race cars in the LV-500?

Because that would be awesome.

There’s plenty of drivers and/or cars from the first movie here and 14K (Robin Shou) actually has more to do this time around than last time. The driving stuff is good, and DR2 adequately provides the right balance between action and story. The ending is a bit daft – after Luke gets burned real bad and everyone thinks he’s dead, Jones creates the Frankenstein persona for him. The final race starts, Luke uses his car to kill Jones, and-

That’s it.

We don’t actually see the third race, which is a curious decision. Most people, one would imagine, are watching a movie called DEATH RACE to see the Death Race, but the filmmakers decided that it was a better choice to give us an hour of prison drama and 30 minutes of racing, and that there was no better climax than watching the alive-for-five minutes Frankenstein crush a woman to death with his Mustang. Watching it, I was like, “Yeah! Now the race!” and the movie was like, “Yeah! Now roll the credits.”

Curious.

Despite all of the shortcomings and issues, DEATH RACE 2 undeniably works.

SMILEY FACE: The Anna Faris Problem

Smiley Face (2007) – Directed by Gregg Araki – Starring Anna Faris, Danny Masterson, Adam Brody, John Krasinski, Jayma Mays, Marion Ross, Jane Lynch, John Cho, Danny Trejo, and Roscoe Lee Browne.

So if you’re a regular reader of the Anxiety you might be wondering why I’m reviewing a stoner comedy from 2007 in the middle of Catching Up with 2011 Month. The answer is not that I have run out of 2011 movies to watch. And while, yes, it is true that I’m caught between Netflix days (Frontier in Space and Super 8 have gone back, Fright Night and Attack the Block have yet to arrive), this review stems from a review of SMILEY FACE written by pal Derrick Ferguson over at The Ferguson Theater, a site you should be reading. (Derrick is also a writer of books that you should be reading.) This led to a comment by me over on Facebook that Anna Faris confounds me – sometimes I adore her and sometimes I can’t stand her.

And that’s what’s know as the Anna Faris Problem in my overworked head. Usually, with actors, while you may occasionally like or dislike their movie, you can say that you generally like or dislike them. It’s only recently that Adam Sandler has gone from an actor I like to one I don’t, despite the fact that he’s been in lots of movies I couldn’t stand. Despite the fact that Jay Baruchel has the single most annoying voice in the history of the world, I loved How to Train Your Dragon, which has him talking in nearly every scene.

But Anna Faris totally and completely confounds me. I want to like her, because she has the great vibe to her, but sometimes … sometimes just having her on my TV screen is enough to make me want to do the dishes. It can even happen with the same role – as much as I love her in Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2, I found her incredibly tedious in 3 and 4. I was incredibly psyched for Waiting, but found her and the movie wanting. I watched literally 3 minutes of Take Me Home Tonight before shutting it off, and she was nearly as annoying as Topher Grace during that time, which is quite the accomplishment. I had hoped she’d be entertaining enough to keep me interested, but it wasn’t to be. (And yes, feel free to hate on me for watching a movie for three minutes, declaring it sucks, and deciding to give American Pickers a chance, instead. Which was also kinda annoying.)

When Derrick reviewed SMILEY FACE and I let all of this out, he offered a friendly challenge – if I watched it and hated it, he’d watch a movie of my choosing to watch and review over at The Ferguson Theater. Since Netflix Streaming had SMILEY FACE available, it didn’t take too long to get to it.

The good news is that Derrick won’t have to review a movie of my choosing because I don’t hate SMILEY FACE. I didn’t love it, either, but there is one incontrovertible thing I did absolutely love about the movie …

Yup. Anna Faris.

Faris is so incredibly funny in SMILEY that it’s the performance I’ve always wanted to see her in. It’s the kind of performance that reminds you how awesome she can be when she’s on, even when the material is rather weak.

She plays Jane F, a stoner who spends the day, well, really, really stoned. The film opens with her stuck on a ferris wheel, talking to the disembodied voice of the great Roscoe Lee Browne, and then we spend much of the rest of the movie catching up to this moment. The film itself isn’t very good – she has a series of misadventures with a bunch of different guys as she tries to reach the Venice Pot Fesitval to pay back her dealer (an awful Adam Brody). Everything is set in motion when she eats her roommate Steve’s cupcakes (Danny Masterson) even though there was a note saying not to eat them. Too late, she realizes they’re pot cupcakes, so comes up with a list of the day’s activities: she needs to make Steve some new cupcakes, go to her acting audition, and pay off her dealer.

All of this means we basically spend 90 minutes watching a stoner make a series of bad decisions. Faris is really hilarious and totally committed to the role, but the rest of the film around her just doesn’t work all that much for me. When she’s waxing philosophical on the munchies, I’m engaged. When she’s pounding Doritos and sucking down orange juice from the mother (Marion Ross) of one of her ex-professors who thinks she’s someone else, I’m bored.

There’s a ton of guest stars here. Some (like John Cho and Roscoe Lee Browne) are good. Some (like Jane Lynch and Brian Posehn) are wasted.

Some of the scenes are really funny. Some aren’t. Luckily, nothing lasts too long as director Gregg Araki keeps things moving along at a pretty good clip. Strangely, I don’t really like any other character in the movie, or think they add much of anything. The point of everyone else is basically to play straight man to Jane’s stoner high jinks, and the result is a movie that’s funnier when Jane is by herself rather than when she’s interacting with other people.

I generally don’t like stoner comedies and SMILEY FACE isn’t going to change my mind on the genre, but Faris’ performance makes this a film worth watching. When we get a montage of how Brevin (John Krasinski) falls in love with her, and we see her basically eating chips or passed out on the couch covered in chips, I can totally see why he fell in love with her. Jane is one of those girls you meet every so often who’s a total wreck and yet also totally captivating. She’s the kind of girl all of your girlfriends will tell you doesn’t deserve you, and you’ll nod and agree when they say it, but it won’t matter. Once a girl like that hooks you, you’re stuck.