SHREK FOREVER AFTER: All I Want Is For Things To Go Back To the Way They Used To Be

Shrek Forever After (2010) – Directed by Mike Mitchell – Starring Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Walt Dohrn, Jon Hamm, Jane Lynch, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, and Craig Robinson.

SHREK FOREVER AFTER is a step in the right direction after the disappointing SHREK THE THIRD, but it’s also a sign that DreamWorks had run out of ideas to propel the SHREK franchise forward, so good on them for not making the planned fifth film.

It’s really pretty amazing that they wouldn’t make SHREK 5. FOREVER AFTER cost $135 million to make and brought in $752 million at the international box office, which begs the question if so many people are willing to turn up for a forgettably decent fourth installment of the franchise, why wouldn’t you come back for another round? Banking $600 million (give or take – these numbers never take the full financial picture into account) would fund another four or five CGI movies.

It drives certain filmmakers nuts that the public cares, let alone focuses, on budget and box office, and I can understand that. But when I hear that FOREVER puts $600 million in the studio’s coffers (just from the box office, let alone future, home-related profits), I do wonder if it’s financially responsible NOT to make another film. I think the same thing when I hear someone like Chris Nolan talk about how he refused to release Dark Knight Rises as a 3D movie – artistically, of course, I support Nolan’s decision (I have yet to see 3D develop to the point where the benefits outweigh the negatives) but when a studio is putting up $250 million for you to make a movie in a genre that has proven financially successful with 3D screenings, is it smart to leave that money on the table in exchange for the benefits of your artistic vision? It’s not like there still wouldn’t be a 2D movie, after all.

I’m not shilling for the coffers of DreamWorks and Warner Brothers. I just think it’s curious when an industry that plays for such huge financial stakes purposely declines to consume guaranteed additional money. Maybe putting out a 3D release of Dark Knight wouldn’t make a dramatic difference, but there’s no reason to think SHREK 5 wouldn’t be a guaranteed $500 million profit, is there?

Or maybe Jeffrey Katzenberg finally just couldn’t deal with the fact that they’d run out of SHREK stories to tell. Maybe that’s why we got a Puss in Boots movie instead of another SHREK film – and Puss‘ $400 million profit isn’t anything to sneeze at.

SHREK FOREVER AFTER takes on one of my least favorite stories to see in a movie: the alternate reality film. In comic books, I love the alt-universe stuff but I’m not a fan of it with cinematic releases because we get so few chances to see these characters in this setting that seeing them but not really seeing them isn’t my preferred way to experience a franchise film. By the fourth film in a series, however, we like these characters. I like Donkey and Fiona and Puss and I want to see Donkey and Fiona and Puss. I don’t really want to see Stranger Donkey and Warrior Fiona and Fat Puss.

Personal problems with this type of story aside, SHREK FOREVER AFTER isn’t a horribly film. It tells a pretty good story of how life might have turned out if Shrek (Mike Myers) never met Donkey (Eddie Murphy) nor saved Fiona (Cameron Diaz). In this world, Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn) makes a deal with King Harold and Queen Lillian (John Cleese and Julie Andrews) and as a result he becomes the King of Far Far Away. We get a nightmarish world where the ogres are in Braveheart mode and Shrek is desperate to undo the damage that he caused simply because he’s a selfish jerk.

It’s not bad, but it’s not memorable, either. The animation is once again top notch and Rumpelstiltskin is an interesting villain, but FORVER AFTER is the kind of film that if it was on TV during a lazy Saturday afternoon, I’d watch it if the remote was on the other side of the room, but flip past it if the remote was in my hand.

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My latest book, STUFFED ANIMALS FOR HIRE: THE CHRISTMAS OPERATION is now available for purchase in PAPERBACK and KINDLE formats.

SAFH is a kid’s espionage novella, but it’s also a tribute to the television shows I watched as a kid: The A-Team, Magnum PI, Knight Rider, Hardcastle and McCormack, Riptide, Dukes of Hazzard and generally any show where Post and Carpenter did the music. Recommended age? If you let your kid watch superhero cartoons or Knight Rider reruns, SAFH should be age appropriate.

Here’s the back cover description:

Jurgen the Gorilla. Throne the Lion. Bronze the Golden Eagle. Ray the Brown Bear. Bottle the Dolphin. Dev the Lynxwoman. 3 the Triceratops. Ptera the Pterodactyl. These eight stuffed animals make up the Return Squadron. For seven months they have worked together to return disconnected stuffed animals home. But now … on their final mission, the Return Squadron seek to steal the legendary Map of Everything. Before Christmas morning arrives, three of the Squadron will turn traitor, four will be stranded, and one will never see another Christmas.

SHREK THE THIRD: If You Think This Whole Mad Scene Ain’t Dope, I Feel You, Dude

Shrek the Third (2007) – Directed by Chris Miller and Raman Hui – Starring Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Rupert Everett, Eric Idle, and Justin Timberlake.

Ugh.

I don’t quite hate the movie but I do actively dislike it. SHREK THE THIRD is a film almost entirely devoid of heart and sorely lacking in any genuine emotion. Watching the film is like attending your 10th high school reunion and having to deal with the high school wise ass spit the same insults he was using a decade ago – only now it’s tinged with a pathetic stink of him remaining trapped in time while the rest of the world spun on.

That’s SHREK THE THIRD, a film where old jokes and routines are recycled one more time, only this time the emphasis isn’t on the genuine heart that served as the previous two movies’ foundation, but on the smarmy jokes. The worst part of THE THIRD comes early on, when Shrek (Mike Myers), Fiona (Cameron Diaz), Donkey (Eddie Murphy), Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), and Queen Lillian (Julie Andrews) gather around the deathbed of King Harold (John Cleese). Harold’s death is played largely for laughs as he does a Bugs and Elmer routine where he dies, then comes back, then dies.

Blah. It’s not funny and it creates a horrible disconnect between what the characters are going through – this is Fiona’s dad and Lillian’s husband, after all – and what the audience is supposed to get out of the scene, which is a few laughs.

Because Far Far Away is ridiculously patriarchal, Shrek is in line to be the next ruler, instead of either Lillian or Fiona. In order to continue the “Shrek doesn’t believe himself capable of doing something emotional” bit, they compound Harold’s death with Fiona’s pregnancy to upset Shrek’s real desire to simply go back to the swamp and fart mud bubbles. Far Far Away is so patriarchal that for Shrek to get out of being King he’s got to hop in a ship and go looking for Arthur, some distant relation who is obviously not real tight with the family. Shrek immediately goes on this quest because he’s an assh*le. Upon Harold’s death, his immediate reaction is not, “Hey, what can I do to help my wife and my mother in law get through this awful time?,” but “How can I shirk any potential responsibilities coming my way?”

The entire premise of the movie, then, hinges on Shrek being a selfish dick who’s so desperate to get out doing anything that doesn’t match his lazy-ass worldview that he leaves his grieving wife in order to lie to a teenager so the kid can bear all the responsibility that Shrek doesn’t want.

Bogus.

There’s not a lot more I want to say about SHREK THE THIRD. I’m so turned off by the opening 30 minutes that the last hour is poisoned. It doesn’t help that the subplot involving famous princesses (Snow White, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Mabel the Ugly Stepsister) is unwatchable because of their spoiled nature. Nor does it help that Arthur (Justin Timberlake) is unlikable, or that Donkey and Puss are forced into a tired, body switching routine. SHREK THE THIRD joins Spider-Man 3 and X-Men: The Last Stand as one of the biggest third act disappointments in cinematic history.

SHREK 2: We are Definitely Not in the Swamp Anymore

Shrek 2 (2004) – Directed by Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, and Conrad Vernon – Starring Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Rupert Everett, Jennifer Saunders, and Tom Waits.

SHREK 2 is a solid animated feature, artfully blending a good story, good characters, and excellent visuals. It’s funny, but with enough drama in the foundation to give the story adequate weight. The interplay between the characters is top-notch, and the addition of Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) helps to add a new dimension to the Shrek/Donkey (Mike Myers/Eddie Murphy) dynamic. At it’s core, SHREK 2 is an ode to acceptance, communication, and the dangers of preferring appearance over action. There’s a solid story here, but there are some frustrating parts of the film – specifically, Shrek’s continued self-pity and a few too many pop culture references.

SHREK 2 is a very good movie, but it’s also the kind of movie that becomes less enjoyable over the years due to the scattered nature of all the pop culture references. The movie is much better when focusing on the story and less successful when it’s reveling in Joan Rivers cameos, spoofs of Cops, plugging Starbucks (with a Farbucks parody) or jamming in as many pop songs as possible. Now, those features are a big part of what makes the SHREK franchise so successful, but many of those references become less successful with repeated viewings.

Shrek and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) leave the swamp to visit Fiona’s parents in Far Far Away. Shrek doesn’t want to go because he’s a home body and suffers from a distinct case of giving a crap about what other people think. It is a little frustrating at how far they go to sell Shrek’s poor attitude, and more than a little frustrating how far they go to sell Donkey as annoying. What saves SHREK 2 is that they film does move through the story at breakneck speed – we never spend too long in any of the film’s set pieces. As soon as Shrek’s attitude becomes unbearable, the film hits the road. As soon as Donkey’s endless, “Are we there, yet?” questions lose all humor, we arrive at Far Far Away, which plays Disneyland to the first SHREK’s Disney World setting.

Fiona’s parents, the King and Queen (John Cleese and Julie Andrews) did not know of the events of the first SHREK movie, and they are of differing minds of what’s happened and their daughter’s decision to marry an ogre. The Queen is relatively cool with it, but the King is not. Later in the film, we learn that Harold was the Frog Prince back in the day, and is thus touchy about appearances, but at first he just comes off as a jerk by judging Shrek without getting to know him.

The King’s obsession with appearances is matched by Shrek’s, and thus all of the movie’s following drama is set in motion. If Shrek was cool with the way he looked, or didn’t have such a self-defeating attitude, he wouldn’t have been swayed by reading Fiona’s diary.

From when she was a kid.

But because he is, he sees all of her “Fiona Charming” drawings and assumes that the younger Fiona still speaks for the grown-up Fiona. Given’s Shrek’s personality it does make a bit of narrative sense for this to happen, but it also means that, deep down, Shrek remains unmoved by the events of the first film. Again, almost all of the problems in SHREK 2 would not be problems in characters just talked to one another. Note that I don’t mean complete strangers talking to one another, either, but husband and wife, parent and child, and in-laws. Barring that, it would have been nice to see the filmmakers do something with the fact that Fiona is changed – and not just physically. All it would take is a few lines from the King and Queen about how their daughter has matured, for instance, to give the film a little more weight.

This is a small complaint, though, because the humor in SHREK 2 goes a long way to making this film as enjoyable as it is.

Key to the humor is the addition of Puss in Boots. Initially, Puss is hired by the King to kill Shrek, but then becomes an ally of the guy he will spend the rest of the film referring to as, “Boss.” The interplay between Puss and Donkey is the comedic highlight of the film as they fight for Shrek’s affections and revel in giving each other subtle digs, largely behind Shrek’s back.

The trio steal a “Happily Ever After” potion from the Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders). Shrek and Donkey both take the potion (after Puss tricks Donkey into being the “test animal” instead of him) and in the morning are transformed into a handsome man and his glorious white steed. Fiona gets transformed, too, and thus we get a drama of identities where Fiona is tricked into thinking Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) is Shrek, though she never quite believes it.

There’s a bunch of convoluted back and forth between the King, the Fairy Godmother, Charming, and Fiona, while Shrek wallows in self pity about how Fiona is better without him and blah blah blah. Luckily, we’ve got Donkey to set him straight, but then they’re arrested, and the Cops spoof starts and all the fairy tale creatures who are house-sitting Shrek’s place back in the swamp.

Here’s the thing about Pinocchio, the Three Blind Mice, the Gingerbread Man, the Three Little Pigs, and the Big Bad Wolf – they’re not in the film as much as I remember. In my head, they’re all over SHREK 2, but when I rewatched it last night, they’re really not in it very much. Every time they are in the film, however, it’s memorable.

If they’re dead set against making more SHREK movies, why can’t we get a Fairy Tale movie? I’d pay ten bucks just to listen to the Gingerbread Man talk for 90 minutes.

SHREK 2 is a really good, really enjoyable movie. There are some issues with the film, but it moves so fast and causes so much laughter that I’m willing to let that slide. If it comes down to an either/or, I’ll always take the original over the parody, and while SHREK 2 does tell it’s own story, it also succeeds largely because of all the parodies it offers up.