DOCTOR WHO: Sing a Song for THE RINGS OF AKHATEN and Is Clara the Doctor’s Mummy?

“THE RINGS OF AKHATEN” – Series 7, Episode 8, Episode 233 – Written by Neil Cross; Directed by Farren Blackburn – It’s Clara Oswald’s first spin in the TARDIS and she wants to see something awesome, so the Doctor takes her to see the Rings of Akhaten. They have a wonderful time looking at the seven worlds and a big pyramid and chatting with a little girl, who sings a lovely song. And then they go home. Well, not right away. Because The Plant Of Akhaten Is Like Mogo, If Mogo Was A Parasite Who Ate Memories.

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If THE RINGS OF AKHATEN were a person you met at a party, you would have a pleasant conversation with them by the buffet table in between bites of “I’m not sure what this is but it’s pretty good, isn’t it?” appetizers, and then five minutes after they left you would not be able to remember their name, and on the ride home you would struggle to remember one memorable thing they said, but you were pretty sure they weren’t from around here.

AKHATEN is the kind of episode that serves as a glue for a season. Your overall opinion of Series 7 isn’t going to be made or lost by AKHATEN but it can push it in either direction; if you like the season, a pleasant, ordinary episode like AKHATEN might be remembered a bit more fondly than if you dislike that particular series. It’s Series 7′s version of THE SHAKESPEARE CODE or THE LONG GAME or THE SONTARAN EXPERIMENT. It’s okay, it’s not overly memorable, but in a few years when you’re rewatching Series 7, you’ll probably find this episode better than you remembered it.

There’s nothing offensive about AKHATEN to me, but the memorable moments are few and far between. In fact, here they are:

One: Clara doesn’t think the TARDIS likes her.

Two: Behind the TARDIS, Clara and the young Mary Gejelh, Queen of Years, have a really nice chat, in which Clara helps Mary get over her biggest fear. We get a nice bit of Clara’s backstory about how her mother has promised to come and find her “every single time” she’s lost. What’s wonderful about the scene is not only how Clara helps the young Queen find her confidence, but just how Jenna-Louise Coleman delivers her lines. I’ve watched the scene a few times now and I’m totally in love with how she talks – she speeds up through the informational bits and then slows down for the important moments. It’s reminiscent of how Matt Smith often approaches the Doctor, to the point where I’m starting to wonder if perhaps–

CRACKPOT THEORY ALERT — CRACKPOT THEORY ALERT — CRACKPOT THEORY ALERT

– I’m starting to wonder if Clara doesn’t have some kind of connection to the Doctor.

Like … she’s his mom.

I know we already kinda sorta probably almost definitely met his mum back in THE END OF TIME, and I know that most people would rather just forget the bit in the Eighth Doctor’s TV MOVIE that the Doctor is half-human, but until it’s officially rescinded on the TV show, we have to at least entertain the theory.

What’s Clara’s signature line? “Run you clever boy … and remember,” she’s said during her “other” lives. We’ve largely taken this “boy” designation as something cheeky, but taken another way, it’s also a way to refer to someone younger than yourself. I’ve held for quite some time that ultimately it’s going to be the Time Lords that are behind all of the Doctor’s relaunched troubles. And what do we have here in AKHATEN? A Clara Oswald driven by the memory of her mother that she will always come and find her daughter, which makes it fitting if Clara then, in essence, becomes her mother when she goes to save the Doctor at the end of AKHATEN.

There’s much less romantic tension between the Doctor and Clara, or even romantic interest from Clara’s point of view than most of our previous reboot Companions, and she does, in fact, scold the Doctor quite often. With the Ponds, Matt Smith made the Doctor feel ancient, but I’m not getting that vibe from him with Clara around. I’m getting a much more school boy vibe, so far. Yeah, there are moments when he looks and feels old, but there are just as many moments where Clara is scolding him as she stands up for herself and asserts her presence in the narrative, as if she were in charge and he was the Companion. And check out his outfit during the scene where Mary sings – he’s got glasses on that look like he took them off a Harry Potter cover and he’s sitting there with his little schoolbook, explaining to Clara what’s going on.

It’s after the schoolboy glasses come off where we see the timelines collapsing into a single moment. The Doctor tells her, in the third really memorable thing that happens in AKHATEN, “Listen, there is one thing you need to know about traveling with me. Well, one thing apart from the blue box and the two hearts. We don’t walk away.” As written and played, it comes off like the Doctor is giving Clara instructions, but remember why the Doctor says this – things are going to crap with Mary, Queen of Years and the angry god, and he’s off to do something about it. And where’s Clara while this is happening?

Running behind him, demanding that they do something about it because it’s her fault.

The Doctor’s speech, in other words, is much less a statement of purpose as it is an affirmation of what Clara is already demanding they do. The Doctor’s fire is in Clara’s words, as is his tremendous sense of guilt. Now, I’m not suggesting that the Doctor only says these things because Clara wants him to say them. What I’m saying is that, you know, timey wimey, we’re in a loop here where the Doctor and his mother are reinforcing their own deeply held beliefs.

One of the reasons I like the theory being pushed by Mike Faber of Earth Station One and others that Clara is the girl in the computer from THE SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY and FOREST OF THE DEAD is that it ties back to an earlier Moffat episode. As we saw in Series 6, there’s two DOCTOR WHO narratives going on: the Moffat episodes and everything else. Steven Moffat clearly has control over everything, of course, but it makes sense that the bows he’ll tie on his DOCTOR WHO years will be drawn from his own work.

And that’s one of the reasons why I’m sure my Crackpot Theory is definitely not true – because it’s drawn from the work of others. For now, though, I’m going to stand by this theory that Clara is the Doctor’s mother because that promise by the BBC executive whose name I can’t remember that no one is going to be able to figure out Clara’s true origin. As I joked on the Earth Station Who podcast two weeks ago – that it either means the exec thinks Moffat is infinitely smarter than the audience, or that Moffat isn’t going to play fair.

Stepping outside his own little Moffat World bubble would be just that kind of swerve, and it would be fitting given that this is the 50th Anniversary year.

I’m not suggesting, either, that Clara – that any versions of Clara – are even aware of her motherhood, at least consciously, but if the Doctor’s mother could send out her own “drum beat” to herself at an earlier point in time, she could be imploring the Doctor to “remember” for the both of them.

We also know that Moffat, like Russell T. Davies before him, likes to double down on the details, and so an episode that’s overtly about motherhood like AKHATEN might also be covertly about motherhood, too, as we see the lessons of the mother passed down to the daughter and passed on to the grandson.

And what bit of info does the Doctor happen to let out in AKHATEN? When Clara asks if he’s been here before, he replies, “Oh yes, with my granddaughter.”

Round and round the timeline spins …

Heck, at the end when they’re facing down the Akhaten parasite, they even cry out of the same eye.

As an episode, THE RINGS OF AKHATEN is a lesser version of THE BEAST BELOW, as the Doctor takes his new Companion to a very alien setting where they help a kid and dangerous shenanigans ensue. AKHATEN is a thin episode, but it is quite enjoyable as far as a light snack goes. I like how they use singing to get to the emotional core of the episode, but the episode succeeds because of Clara and the Doctor’s emotional responses.

The Doctor gives a moving speech to the parasite planet about all that he’s seen (the parasite feeds on these memories), but then Clara leaves the safety of her distant location and goes running into danger and one-ups the Doctor’s speech. She gives her own emotional plea/challenge to the parasite and gives up her parent’s leaf – the leaf that blew into her father’s face that caused him to meet Clara’s mother. It’s “the most important leaf in the universe” to Clara … but maybe, just maybe, it’s the most important leaf in the universe for other reasons to, as it’s the leaf that led to Clara, and Clara is what leads to the Doctor.

When I was on the ESW podcast two weeks back, I said I was not going to get caught up in the speculation game this half-series.

Wrong.

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When he’s not talking speculating on the Doctor’s lineage, Mark Bousquet is doing some writing himself. He is the author of multiple novels and collections, including the recently released The Haunting of Kraken Moor, Gunfighter Gothic, Stuffed Animals for Hire, Dreamer’s Syndrome, Harpsichord and the Wormhole Witches, and Adventures of the Five. He has also published a review collection entitled Marvel Comics on Film, which covers every cinematic and TV movie based on a superhero from the House of Ideas. A complete listing of all his work can be found at his Amazon author page.

 

DOCTOR WHO: Rycbar THE BELLS OF SAINT JOHN

“THE BELLS OF SAINT JOHN” – Series 7, Episode 7, Episode 232 – Written by Steven Moffat; Directed by Colm McCarthy – Snog box! It’s the official kick-off for the second half of Series 7 and it’s once again New Companion Time. This isn’t the first, or even second time we’ve met Miss Clara Oswin Oswald, only this time it’s allegedly the real deal. She’s not a Dalek and she’s not a Victorian nanny. Heck, she’s not even an Oswin, yet, but just plain old Clara Oswald, living with a friend’s family and watching over the kids because their mummy died. The Doctor is looking for her by waiting in place. Which actually works. Because The Bells Of Saint John Start Ringing And Clara Is On The Other End.

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I have never driven a supercar, so what follows is a hypothetical experience.

Imagine getting behind the driver’s wheel of, say, a Ferrari F12berlinetta. The Ferrari dealership is perhaps a little worried about Frank Slade and Robin taking their fleet out for a spin, so they’ve put an inhibitor on the engine, preventing it from going over 80 MPH. This will inevitably disappoint you, because what’s the point of owning an F12 if it can’t go any faster than a beat up, 15-year old Ford Taurus?

You bring the car back to the dealer and politely tell him it’s not for you. But then later, after dinner, after driving home in your perfectly proper BMW 760Li, you start remembering how the F12 hugged the corners, how the steering was so responsive it seemed to operate on telepathy, how the pedals seemed to be part of your feet instead of separate from them. You start to wonder if maybe, just maybe, that dealership wasn’t worried about someone taking the F12 out for a joyride but wanted a potential customer to appreciate the rest of the car.

Who notices the interior when your romping down the highway at 175?

But at 85 … at 85 you’ll pay more attention to how the seats sit, and how the dashboard looks, and how the engine purrs instead of being overwhelmed by its roar. So you call the dealership back, tell them you want a second test drive, and this time when you get behind the wheel, you discover the inhibitor is gone and you get the full experience. Before you’ve brought it back that second time, you know you’ve bought it.

That’s how I feel about THE BELLS OF SAINT JOHN, the half-season opener that kicks off the back-half of Series 7 and formally introduces us to Clara Oswald. I was pleased but not thrilled with the episode on its first watch but when I watched it a second time, I liked much more. The third time I liked it even better. I still don’t love the episode, but I like it quite a bit. It’s the handling and the braking and the interior that I like, though, not that roaring engine.

BELLS is a surprisingly restrained episode. With all of the build-up to Clara’s official first appearance I was expecting BELLS to hit the ground running and bury us in an avalanche of rapid fire dialogue and clever sayings and over-the-top action. Usually, that action involves running, but the trailers for BELLS promised a motorcycle so while I wasn’t expect that bike to, I dunno, drive straight up the side of a massively tall building, I was ready for some weaving in and out of traffic.

There is action in BELLS, and it’s fair to say this is much more an action episode than a horror episode, despite the arrival of new monsters called Spoonheads. (My mind kept bouncing back and forth between playing Soundgarden’s “Spoonman” and Phish’s “Fluffhead.”) Yet this isn’t a fast moving episode. The motion is rather pedestrian and the dialogue between the Doctor and Clara is turned down from what we’ve seen previously in ASYLUM OF THE DALEKS and THE SNOWMEN. There seems to be a determined effort on writer Steven Moffat’s part to give us Clara the Normal Girl rather than Clara the Super Girl, and I’ll be honest, I find that a little disappointing.

Look, Clara is still a fantastic character and Jenna-Louise Coleman imbues her with the right amount of heart, intelligence, cheek, and charm. Had I never seen ASYLUM or SNOWMEN, I’m sure I would be equally as in love with her as I am having seen those episodes. But I liked that she wasn’t normal. I liked that she could talk fast and sharp and that her intelligence hid a naive underside who never thought to ask how she was able to make her souffles.

What we get of the “official” Clara Oswald clever, but normal girl who is, in no way, the Doctor’s equal.

Until she magically is.

Clara is a normal girl serving as an unofficial nanny to a family in contemporary London. She’s a friend of the family who happened to be staying with them when the family’s mother passed away, and she’s been living with them for the past year, helping them with daily activities as they help her mature. Clara has a wonderful book entitled “101 Places to See” which she intends to fill up with her travels. These travels have been postponed while staying with the family because she won’t leave them as long as they need her. This year has clearly given her time to mature because how could it not? She’s helping to care for the kids and the house while careful not to try to be the kid’s replacement mother.

While all of this is going on, the Doctor is sitting with some monks back in 1207 thinking on the “Impossible Girl” who’s died twice already. The monks inform him that “the bells of Saint John are ringing,” which turns out to mean that the phone on the outside of the TARDIS (which is hidden away underground) is ringing. The Doctor answers it and it’s Clara, who’s trying to figure out where the internet went. The Doctor doesn’t realize it’s her, at first, and it isn’t until the family’s daughter tells Clara their internet password – RYCBAR: Run You Clever Boy and Remember – that he immediately takes off to find her.

Couple things here. One, I love, love, love the idea of the Doctor hanging out with the monks in 1207, but it is kinda silly. He’s got a time machine and a sonic screwdriver – you’re telling me he can’t point and zap some government records to find her? But whatever, the visual is cool and maybe he just needed time to ponder the mysteries of the lovely Miss Oswald’s penchant for dying. Two, I do like how Clara’s other lives are being mirrored in this life. She’s computer illiterate at the start of the episode, but after being downloaded by the Spoonheads into their computer, she gets an upgrade so that she becomes wicked smaht, kid, like she was in ASYLUM. Additionally, she’s working as a nanny, mirroring her time with the Latimers in Victorian London, and in this episode we see where she gets the “Oswin” moniker.

So often in Moffat’s run there are seemingly important ideas tossed into a show only to be quickly tossed out of everyone’s mind. I like that he’s already circling back on himself here, showing that there’s a resonance from ASYLUM and SNOWMEN at play. When you toss in the reveal that Richard E. Grant is playing the Great Intelligence, which builds off his role as Dr. Simeon in SNOWMEN, maybe (just maybe) we’re going to get the grand narrative of Steven Moffat play out before our eyes this time around.

While BELLS doesn’t fly, there is a lot of really good, really smart stuff going on. The relationship between the Doctor and Clara isn’t white hot, but it’s on its way. Clara is, of course, a little weirded out by the arrival of a monk to her house but what I really love is that she lets us in on the fact that she trusts the Doctor before she lets him in on it. We can see that she’s warming to him after he saves her from the Spoonhead upload but she doesn’t stop giving him a hard time. While it is a bit disappointing that she’s awed by the TARDIS being bigger on the inside (instead of cleverly pointing out that it’s smaller on the outside as she did in SNOWMEN), she still gets the better of him through romantic and sexual insinuations that make him uncomfortable, such as her repeated reference to the TARDIS as a “Snog Box.” She’s still a young woman who thinks fast, like when she notices that the strange girl inside her house is actually the girl from the cover of the book one of the family’s kids was reading.

Ah, the book. Let’s talk about that book. It’s called Summer Falls. Heard of it? No? That’s understandable, but maybe you’ve heard of the author, one Amelia Williams.

It’s a nice, subtle touch by Moffat to indicate to us that the former Amelia Pond who grew up to be Amy Pond who got married and sent back in time to become Amelia Williams did have a life of her own. There’s also a nice reference in the dialogue when Clara asks the kid what chapter he’s on, and she tells him Chapter 11 will be better than Chapter 10 because he’ll end up crying.

It’s the growing relationship between the Doctor and Clara that makes this episode good. The plot is rather basic and solved ridiculously easily. It’s got a bit of the ARMY OF GHOSTS/DOOMSDAY vibe to it, with sharply dressed business people doing evil things and taking over people’s bodies, and the conclusion is literally as simple as Miss Kislet, the Head Evil Woman saying, “You can’t download Clara now that she’s fully uploaded,” and the Doctor saying, “Yes, I can.” There’s some inventive action, though, with the TARDIS jumping into a falling plane, and a clever ending with the Doctor sending the Definitely Not Called a Ganger or a Teselecta But Effectively the Same Exact Narrative Thing copy of himself after Miss Kislet.

Matt Smith is fantastic and I fear that he’s already reached that point of awesome dependability that his performance can be overlooked because it’s so steady that it’s easier for people to concentrate on the storm happening around him than on what he brings to the table. I wish he wasn’t so concerned about Clara’s safety because it does add a bit of a bubble to his logic about taking her with him. It’s less humane but potentially more interesting if he looked at Clara more as a puzzle rather than a person needing protection, but Clara’s willingness to give him cheek over things should keep the balance right.

There’s plenty of unanswered questions, of course, beyond the mystery of Clara Oswin Oswald. I’ve given my Crackpot Theory before (most fully in the LET’S KILL HITLER review) that I believe Moffat’s ultimate revelation will be that the Time Lords are behind all of the Doctor’s troubles, but in the short term, we’ve got the Great Intelligence put in place in SNOWMEN and then used again here as the Big Bad for Series 7b. As I discussed on the Earth Station Who podcast last week, I think we’re going to find the Cybermen have a strong connection to Clara, given the placement of “their” episode as the penultimate episode of Series 7. Moffat charged Neil Gaiman with making the Cybermen scary again, so maybe they’re the army of the Great Intelligence who will outstrip their creator.

The more enticing mystery brought up by this episode is who gave Clara the phone number of the TARDIS to call in the first-

Yeah, I know. It’s River.

THE BELLS OF SAINT JOHN is not an all-time great episode, but it is a really solid, really mature episode with lots of small things to appreciate on multiple viewings. My favorite moment in the episode comes when the Doctor and Clara are on his motorcycle and he answers her question about why they’re on a bike by saying, “I don’t take the TARDIS into battle,” and she replies, “Because it’s made of wood?”

Love it. Can’t wait for THE RINGS OF AKHATEN.

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When he’s not reviewing DOCTOR WHO, Mark Bousquet is doing some creative writing himself. He is the author of multiple novels and collections, including the recently released The Haunting of Kraken Moor, Gunfighter Gothic, Stuffed Animals for Hire, Dreamer’s Syndrome, Harpsichord and the Wormhole Witches, and Adventures of the Five. He has also published a review collection entitled Marvel Comics on Film, which covers every cinematic and TV movie based on a superhero from the House of Ideas. A complete listing of all his work can be found at his Amazon author page.

DOCTOR WHO: THE DEADLY ASSASSIN of Your Face

“THE DEADLY ASSASSIN” – Season 14, Serial 3, Story 88 – Written by Robert Holmes; Directed by David Maloney – It’s a highly unique serial in DOCTOR WHO lore as the Doctor gets a solo adventure, free from any Companion. With Sarah Jane having departed and Leela yet to arrive, the Doctor is left to his own devices to foil an assassination attempt on the Time Lord President. Only problem is, the Master is behind it and he’s super angry because he doesn’t have a real face anymore.

THE DEADLY ASSASSIN is one of the more difficult serials for me to wrap my head around. I do not mean that the plot is extra complex or the philosophical issues deeply troubling. I simply mean I don’t know if I like it or if I really like it.

My consternation comes from two primary aspects: the first is the slow start and the annoying “TV program infodump” and the second in a mind-numbing third episode that completely takes me out of the plot. I’ll take them in order.

After dropping Sarah Jane off in Not Croydon at the end of the last serial, the Doctor sets a course for Gallifrey. On the way, he gets a powerful vision of killing the President. When he arrives, the Time Lords freak out about the appearance of a Type 40 TARDIS, and we get a full introduction to the pomp and circumstance of the Time Lords with their crazy cloaks and funny hats and strange titles. DEADLY ASSASSIN is one of those serials where the budget doesn’t necessarily hurt the serial, but if they had more money to spend, we could have gotten sets to match the Time Lords’ grand pomposity.

This is the first time we get a really close look at the Time Lords and as interesting as it is to take them in, it’s just as interesting in how they view the Doctor and the Master.

Which is to say, if this serial was written today, there would be about 42 “Doctor Who?” jokes because the Time Lords largely don’t know who he is. The Doctor returning to Gallifrey with a missing TARDIS is greeted with all the fanfare of crickets chirping in a nearly empty cathedral. Imagine if Cameron had spent all that time worrying about what his dad would think about him taking the Ferrari 250 out for a spin and his dad came home and was like, “Huh, I thought I left my gloves in the driver’s seat and not the passenger’s seat.”

All of that is awesome, which is why it’s so damaging when they introduce Runcible, who’s a TV reporter. Ugh. Coming so near the start of the serial, the image of the Doctor trying to find the local news report for an update of the day’s festivities is kinda lame.

The serial moves quickly, though, blending humor with its political intrigue and before the first episode is out, the Doctor appears to have killed the President.

It’s good stuff, and the interplay between the Doctor and the Castellan during the investigation of the crime is the best part of the serial. The Doctor is quickly put on trial and Chancellor Goth wants him executed as quickly as possible. It’s obvious that Goth is one of the bad guys, but he’s just a flunky for the return of the Master.

The Master is making his first appearance since the tenth season’s FRONTIER IN SPACE. He’s in bad shape, with a scarred, disfigured face, but he’s still up to his evil genius tricks. While it’s a shame, of course, that Roger Delgado passed away and thus it’s someone else beneath the costume, this version of the Master is serious and well worthy of the name.

There’s not a lot of direct Doctor/Master interaction here, but both men are clearly playing a chess game against one another and we get to see both of their intellects at play. To get out of being ramrodded through a quick trial, the Doctor invokes Article 17 and runs for President. The Master, for his part, unleashes lackeys, uses mind control, and tricks the Doctor into entering the Matrix, which is really just an excuse to get a bunch of outdoor sequences into the narrative.

It’s a huge mistake. Prior to the Doctor’s mind becoming one with the Matrix, the serial had recovered from Runcible and had set up a good political thriller. But then the Matrix happens and we get an entire episode of the Doctor running around a virtual reality world being chased by a guy who’s hiding his face. It’s Goth, of course, and the whole episode is wasted by being outside. It’s not that this sequence is executed poorly; Director David Maloney does a really solid job with it, but I just don’t care. I want to be back on Gallifrey, not stuck in a VR simulation that looks like a whole lot of other episodes.

There’s a lot of whiz-bang at the end and it’s a satisfying conclusion. THE DEADLY ASSASSIN is one of those serials you have to see for the novelty of the Doctor having a solo adventure (though the Castellan really serves in the Companion’s place) and the disfigured Master. I could do without Runcible the TV Reporter, without the shot of the shrunken man, and without the journey through the Matrix, but the rest of the serial is rather enjoyable.