THE SEA WOLVES: I Want Everyone Here to Smell Like a Distillery

The Sea Wolves (1980) – Directed by Andrew W. McLaglen – Starring Gregory Peck, Roger Moore, David Niven, Trevor Howard, Barbara Kellerman, and Patrick Macnee.

THE SEA WOLVES is an odd movie.

Given the title and the cover image they use at Netflix, I had thought I was getting a later version of an Alistair MacLean movie, which, as you know because you’re a loyal reader, I’d been reviewing for my appearance on Van Allen Plexico’s White Rocket Podcast. With Gregory Peck, Roger Moore, and David Niven looking so serious on the cover image, I was expecting a derivative MacLean film that would’t be as good, necessarily, but would still be entertaining.

Well, it’s not a MacLean film, but it is entertaining. It is, however, the kind of movie that doesn’t make any sense. The fact that it’s based on a true story makes the fact that it doesn’t make any sense make even less sense. And all of that is part of its charm.

Ostensibly, THE SEA WOLVES is a war movie. A World War II movie, to be precise, in which the Brits want to blow up a Nazi ship in neutral territory that is broadcasting detailed information about Allied ships, resulting in them getting blown to the bottom of the ocean by German U-boats. Being in neutral territory off the coast of Goa, the Brits can’t go after the ships without causing all sorts of international problems. Hamstrung, the Brits give the mission to the Calcutta Light Horse, which was part of the Cavalry Reserve in the British Indian Army.

What does all of that mean? It means old Brits living in India and playing lots of polo and drinking lots of beer get tasked with taking out a German controlled ship in neutral territory all the way on the opposite coast of India.

If this were a MacLean story, the film would start with Colonel Lewis Pugh (Gregory Peck) and Captain Gavin Stewart (Roger Moore) bringing in Colonel Grice (David Niven) and the rest of his Light Horse contingent, and then they’d go on a big adventure leading to a massive final action sequence. Of course, given that the Calcutta Light Horse isn’t a group of professional soldiers, but a group of ex-soldiers who have invited to not get involved in the war, maybe it would never be a MacLean story.

Instead of the band of ragtag brothers out to save the day, THE SEA WOLVES gives us a whole lot of Gregory Peck and Roger Moore playing Secret Agent Men in Goa, where Gavin finds time to fall in love with Mrs. Cromwell (Barbara Kellerman), who just so happens to be the Nazis #2 man in the Indian state.

It’s the relationship between Peck and Moore that gives SEA WOLVES its charm, and it is a very charming, enjoyable movie. It’s not a movie that I want to think too much about (the Brits only option is to do nothing or recruit some non-soldiers?) but if just sitting and watching it play out is a good time. Peck and Moore are fantastic playing off one another, and this is one of my favorite Peck performances. He’s so relaxed here that he plays almost every scene with this interior smirk that gives Pugh a persona that’s both professional and cocky. You’d think Moore would play the relaxed cocky one, and he does that, too. Instead of these performances either clashing with one another or canceling each other out, they actually work wonderfully together. It’s like watching two versions of the same man, separated by 30 years of experience.

I could easily have watched these two guys the entire movie and while that would not have been true to the spirit of what the actual Calcutta Light Horse did (and it’s to the movie’s credit that it makes sure you know this is a story based on real people), it would have been a more enjoyable movie. Once Pugh and Gavin split up – Pugh oversees the operation while Gavin stays in Goa to create distractions. All of the Light Horse guys are great but we get so little of them – and so little of David Niven – that their presence in the film distracts me from what I just spent the bulk of the movie watching.

I do not normally try to think for you, the reader. That’s just bad form. I’ll tell you what I think of a movie and attempt to stay away from ordaining what you think of a movie. That said, and to continue with my opening comments, if you come to the film wanting a war movie, you’re not going to get one. There’s very little World War II in the film. Instead, THE SEA WOLVES is like a relaxed adventure film that highlights an upper middle class British gentility. Whatever the purpose of the Light Horse originally was, in SEA WOLVES it’s just an old boy’s club where “men get to be men unless their woman is there to shake her head at them.” These are men looking for a bit of glory, who are unhappy to be considered out to pasture. They want to help. They want a bit of danger. And it’s … it’s almost tragic. They want to be important again and they treat the whole enterprise like they’re out on a fox hunt.

That doesn’t mean it’s not fun to watch them, because THE SEA WOLVES is the perfect example of what I used to call an AMC movie. I haven’t had cable in so long I have no real idea what kinds of movies that AMC still broadcasts, but back in the day they played a lot of movies I’d never heard of that nonetheless starred a bunch of people I had heard of. Using SEA WOLVES as an example – I’d see the ad for a film starring Peck, Moore, and Niven and then wonder why I didn’t instantly recognize what movie it was. How could I not know about a movie starring Gregory Peck, Roger Moore, and David Niven?

Then I’d watch the film and know why – it was thoroughly mediocre and maybe even disappointing. As time goes by we think of old actors only for their best or most memorable films. We forget that even big stars probably starred in a bunch of clunkers, and that was the role that AMC existed to fill, to remind us of those probably clunkers.

SEA WOLVES isn’t a clunker, though. It’s not a highly memorable movie but it’s a perfect example of what I wanted but usually did not get out of an AMC movie – an enjoyable film starring a bunch of actors I like doing things they’re good at. That’s SEA WOLVES. It’s not overly memorable, it’s not overly well made, but it is thoroughly entertaining, and proof that sometimes even war movies can be breezy and light and charming.

HARD TARGET: Good Whiskey Make Jackrabbit Slap De Bear!

Hard Target (1993) – Directed by John Woo – Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Yancy Butler, Lance Henriksen, Arnold Vosloo, Kasi Lemmons, Chuck, Pfarrer, and Wilford Brimley.

I love this movie.

HARD TARGET is pretty much the perfect B-movie action film. There’s an insanely talented director teaming up with a solid action star in an easy-to-follow story with plenty of cool action sequences. Is that not enough for you? Okay, we’ve got a ridiculous greasy mullet, Lance Henriksen angrily calling somebody a buffalo, plenty of slow-mo, Arnold Vosloo, a horribly miscast Yancy Butler, effectively used slo-mo, and Wilfred Brimley speaking Cajun.

Let me repeat that last part: WE HAVE WILFORD BRIMLEY SPEAKING CAJUN!

All other arguments are, as the saying goes, now invalid because, as Mr. Brimley so eloquently puts it, “Mopofeesopotone!”

I think.

Does it matter?

HARD TARGET was John Woo’s first American film, and reports are that he originally wanted Kurt Russell is this sort-of remake of The Most Dangerous Game. Truthfully, I would have preferred Russel to Jean-Claude Van Damme but Woo uses Van Damme here as well as any director possibly could and, truthfully, this is a better movie because of him. Woo has Van Damme speak little which adds to the overall effect when he does talk, and Woo’s highly-stylized camera work and editing work beautifully with Van Damme’s style of punching and kicking (lots of spinning around leg sweeps and kicks to the face, mostly).

Set in New Orleans, Emil Fouchon (Lance Henriksen) arranges live, human hunts through the city to wealthy hunters who want the challenge of killing humans. The hunted are recruited from the city’s homeless population, favoring military vets to make it more of a challenge. Fouchon and his right hand man, Pik Van Cleef (Vosloo) oversee the hunt, and as the film opens, they’re tracking Douglas Binder (Chuck Pfarrer). The deal made with the homeless vets is that if they reach the bridge at the other end of the city, they’ll walk away with their life and $10,000. Binder doesn’t make it, and a little while later, his daughter Natasha (Butler) arrives looking for him.

I like Yancy Bulter but she’s not right for the part of Natasha, which calls for someone who can play afraid and confused and weepy at a higher level. With Butler, I’m expecting her to jump right into the action, but she spends the first half of the movie looking unsure of herself and unable to do anything without someone helping her.

She goes to the cops for help, but Detective Mitchell (Kasi Lemmons) can only do so much and Butler pouts and storms off. She ends up in the same diner as Chance Boudreaux (Van Damme), who saves her when some local thugs want to rough her up after she exits. Natasha wants him to help her find her dad but he refuses. Chance is a seaman but his card has been temporarily revoked because he roughed up the wrong captain, so he agrees to help her for the exact amount of money he needs to get reinstated with the union.

This leads to an inevitable confrontation with Fouchon and Van Cleaf, who decide that they’ve overstayed their welcome in New Orleans and will leave once they kill Chance. Insert lots of fighting and chasing. The fights are solid, but the real joy is in watching Fouchon lose his cool. Henriksen is amazing in HARD TARGET, and when he starts losing his sh*t, the film gets really good. “You are a f*cking buffalo!” he yells at one of his hunters when the chase for Boudreaux hits the swamps.

There’s a perfect mix of fantastic and ridiculous action, which helps to keep the film from falling into a rut. On the fantastic end, we’ve got a warehouse full of discarded Mardi Gras floats, and Chance descends from the ceiling on a swan, shooting at Fouchon’s men with his shotgun. On the ridiculous end, we’ve got Chance punching out a venomous snake. Good stuff.

Chance eventually makes his way to his uncle’s house, and that’s where we get Wilford Brimley and his Cajun accent. No one dislikes having Wilford Brimley around in this film, except for the poor horse that has to cart him around.

HARD TARGET does an excellent job with a simple narrative, continually comparing Fouchon’s wealth with Chance’s poverty, which ends with Boudreaux answering Fouchon’s question of why he’s gotten involved by saying, “Poor people get bored, too.” It’s a clever line, but not a truthful one, as Chance was clearly involved to get his money to go to sea, and then at some point to help Natasha, and at another point to get revenge for Detective Mitchell being gunned down.

I’ve watched this movie a whole lot over the years and I never get tired of it. Woo and Van Damme have both had a checkered career in America, with more misses than hits in their filmography, but HARD TARGET is some of the best work both men have produced on these shores.

FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE: You Didn’t Give a Motherhunch About Me, Did You?

Force 10 from Navarone (1978) – Directed by Guy Hamilton – Starring Harrison Ford, Robert Shaw, Edward Fox, Franco Nero, Carl Weathers, Barbara Bach, and Richard Kiel.

FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE is one of the weirder sequels in cinematic history.

Ostensibly, it’s a sequel to THE GUNS OF NAVARONE, but while the story picks up shortly after the events of that movie and reunites the characters of Keith Mallory and John Miller, FORCE 10 was produced 17 years later and Gregory Peck and David Niven have been replaced with Robert Shaw and Edward Fox, actors with very different approaches to the characters than their predecessors. So while FORCE 10 is technically a sequel, functionally it’s entirely its own film.

That’s not wholly a good thing, but it’s not a disastrous thing, either.

FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE is a perfectly enjoyable action/war movie. All of the actors are good, the story is good, the action is good, and the final scene is fantastic. Ironically, while it’s the least of the four Alistair MacLean-based movies, it’s also the only one where I was immediately ready for a sequel. This is due not just to the ending – which sees our four heroes flush with the success of completely their mission but suddenly confronted with being trapped behind enemy lines – but to the chemistry exhibited between our four main leads: Shaw, Fox, Harrison Ford, and Carl Weathers.

Colonel Barnsby (Ford) and his Force 10 team are due to head into Yugoslavia to blow up a bridge, and he’s none-too-happy to have old times Mallory and Miller forced onto him. Right from the start, FORCE 10 overcomes one of the problems I had with (the otherwise superior) WHERE EAGLES DARE, which is to create some tension between our protagonists. Barnsby and Mallory clash repeatedly, the younger soldier’s fire clashing nicely with the older soldier’s calm. When the Force 10 unit is in the middle of stealing a plane (they steal one of their own planes in order to keep the mission a secret), a Jeep of MPs rolls up and a brawl ensues. Instead of getting involved, Mallory and Miller lean back against their transport truck and don’t get involved until they can be of the most use.

It’s during this brawl that Sergeant Weaver (Weathers) joins up with them, forcing his way out of MP custody and onto the stolen plane. Before they reach their destination the plane is attacked and almost everyone dies. The unit then has to hoof it through Yugoslavia, where they get embroiled with Richard Kiel and blah blah blah war stuff mistaken identity subterfuge penicillin Franco Nero prison break. I’m skipping through this huge middle section because while it’s pretty entertaining, it’s the film’s ending that I want to talk about.

Force 10 was sent into Yugoslavia to blow up a massive bridge but they lack the explosives to do it, so they devise a plan to blow up a nearby dam, believing the escaped water will wash the bridge away and keep the Germans on the other side of the river. Miller is the bombs expert, but it’s Mallory and Barnsby that sneak into the dam and travel all the way to the corridor at the base of the dam to plant the explosives. When they’re deciding on how long to set the fuse, Mallory recognizes they’ve run out of time and the Germans must, at that very minute, already be crossing the bridge.

Barnsby decides to set the fuse for 20 seconds, which is obviously not enough time for them to get out. He asks Mallory if 20 seconds is the right time and in a nice switch from GUNS where Miller forced Mallory to make the hard call, Mallory now tells Barnsby that the call is his. Barnsby balks even though he knows he’s right, wanting the older officer to give him confirmation. Mallory finally does, the fuse is set, and the two men shake hands and walk away. The bomb goes off and …

Poof.

Up on a nearby hill, Miller and Weaver are watching and waiting. When there is no massive explosion, Weaver freaks out, yelling that nothing happened and that after all they’d been through to get to that moment … NOTHING! Behind him, Miller puffs on his pipe, clearly unconcerned.

Back in the tunnel, Mallory and Barnsby dust themselves off. There was an explosion in the tunnel, but no real damage appears to have been caused. They’re furious but while hiding out from three Germans, a crack appears in the corridor’s ceiling and water starts to shoot down. Mallory and Miller pop out of hiding and run past the surprised Germans. Slowly, incrementally, Weaver sees the dam begin to crack and water begin to shoot through and his anger turns to such joy that he nearly dances with Miller on the hill and kisses the Brit twice on the cheek. (My admiration for Weathers continues to grow, and I love how Sergeant Weaver continually forces himself into the narrative.) The dam eventually breaks, Mallory and Barnsby escape, and the bridge is washed out, stopping the German advance.

It’s a wonderfully executed sequence by Guy Hamilton and his crew. There are moments here where a bit of Hamilton’s past comes in to add a bit of cheek to the proceedings (like when Barnsby and Mallory are escaping the dam and they both push the same German solider out of the way to climb up some stairs ahead of him) but for the most part they help, rather than hurt the movie. This last sequence, however, is mostly pure action goodness and it unfolds beautifully. Every shot is the right one and every shot last exactly the right amount of time.

The day is won but as the four men reunite on the hill, it’s the ever-practical Mallory who reminds them that they’re now on the wrong side of the river in an area that’s soon to be swarming with angry Germans. With no hope of reuniting with allies, he tells them it’s going to be a long walk to freedom as the camera is pulling away from them and the credits start rolling. It’s a really great ending, calling in mind films like the original Italian Job and The Thin Red Line in that even though the movie is over, the story (and the war) clearly is not.

FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE does not have the literary quality of the other MacLean films, as its intentions are clearly designed to be an enjoyable World War II romp, but while it may not reach the heights of GUNS OF NAVARONE, ICE STATION ZEBRA, and WHERE EAGLES DARE, this is still a darn good movie, thanks to the four leads and some fine directing from Guy Hamilton.